Sunday, October 19, 2008

What To Say to A Military Wife

I remember a few Sabbaths ago sharing the two list I just posted with a friend.

She thanked me for telling her, so she could keep these things in mind. But I thanked this friend, for listening, for allowing me to vent, for caring
And that is one of the things you can do; allow a wife to vent, without comment or judging what she's saying. Hugs are awesome too.
Since I'd shared what isn't helpful, allow me to share some things that are helpful and encouraging.
1. Call and make a Starbucks date. My best friend and I get together for Starbucks once a month. If she doesn't like Starbucks, how about tea or coffee or a juice bar? Ice cream?
2. Shopping. My buddy Sarah and I have a standing shopping date once a month. Even if all I buy is Starbucks. Mark's name only comes up if I mention it. When it is close to hubby's R&R or Return date, take her to Victoria's Secret for a special welcome home gift. Even better if you offer to buy the "candy wrapping." (That's what Mark calls it)
3. Offer to baby sit. If there are children, offer to babysit one afternoon so she can get out.
4. Service. An offer to make supper, invite to your home or order pizza will do wonders. Pay for one morning of housekeeping service. Take up a collection and send her to a day at the Spa.
5. Care packages. Bake cookies. Buy a medium size box and tape so I can pack a honey box. Even offer to help pack.
6. Prayer. Even those who don't often pray rarely turn down an offer of prayer. Call and ask, "how can I pray for you." Even better, if you can, go and pray for her.
7. Cuddles. Mark send me his pillow bathed in his body oil and a Teddy Bear. We all could use a blanket or a Teddy Bear to hold.
8. Take pictures. My buddy Sarah has a n awesome idea. When the weather is better, we are going out to some of Mark and My's favorite spots and she will take pictures of me. Yes, it is bittersweet, but it will make Mark's day to see flesh pictures of his lady.
9. Work out together. Go for walks, the Y, kick boxing, etc. It will help her work off mine stress and help both of you get in shape.
10. Space. Sometimes, we need our space. We get depress because our guy isn't here. We will try not to take our pain and loneliness out on you, but please, sometimes we just need to be alone. I hope you will understand and not take it personally. Because I really do appreciate all that you do and thank G-d for your friendship.

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