Tuesday, June 29, 2010

To Be a Soldier's Wife

A deployment is something you can only understand if you've been through it, and we who have loved ones in warzones need all the support we can get. Not your judgement.

As we come to the tail end of this our fourth deployment, I cannot help but reflect on these past months.
In May 2009, Mark went off for training, to prepare for an upcoming mission.
In June, he left to join his new unit.
July, there was a halt: You had cancer? We need to make sure your cancer free. This is of course AFTER Mark's THIRD deployment AFTER cancer treatment was finished.
Test done, Mark is send to rejoin his unit.
Northeastern blows into Virginia. Power is out for five days and I stay with Mark's parents.
December. I contract the swine flu. Lousy Hannukkah except for the cards I got off to Mark and the cards he got to me.
Feburany 2010. Mark comes home on R&R. He has a bad cold that is really a virus and leaves it with me, giving ne another bout with the Swine Flu.
I am not suppose to be getting the Swine flu: I'm Jewish!
Lungs were damaged, but slowly began to heal.
During this time, I did a lot of sleeping (to recover) reading (to stretch my brain and to learn new things) and even had a Starbucks buddy I met once a week.
To be a soldier's wife (or married to any of the branches of our armied forces) means to stand beside your soldier as they defend the nation.
It means Carepackages and letters and waiting up until 12 am for the phone to ring.
It means those special days are spend alone. And if you don't have children, like Mark and I, the lonliness wraps you like a shroul.
It means finding your voice, creating your space and keeping the home fires going for your loved one. It is knowing it is ok to cry yourself to sleep as well as to go out and have a good time with a buddy.
It is knowing that folks Support Our Troops and friends Support Their Spouses.
It is recieveing an e-mail thanking YOU for your service to our nation. It is a child saying, "I am praying for your husband."
It is Mark telling me about the letters he recieved from Betty and the Carepackages from Isreal. About the little Iraqi girl who played with his glasses and having out footballs. It is the tribal leader shaking Mark's hand and thanking him for all he is doing for his people.
It means you are part of something bigger than yourself and dispite what the nay-sayers claim, knowing your man is working to help improve the lives of others as well as stopping the forces outside our gates that threaten us.
Frankly, I never thought growing up I would marry a military man, but G-d did.
And as hard as this is, I have never regretted a day I said yes, I will marry you, to my soldier.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

It's My Birthday!

It is hard to celebrates with your love away.
So I dug out some old pictures...like from my 50th birthday party.

Lead By Example

By now, most already know about General Stanley McChrysal, the Rolling Stone story and the outcome. I personaly respect the General, for his 30 plus years of service to our nation and for the difficult job he had in dealing the task handed to him with little support.
Dispite that, General McChrysal made a huge mistake. One I would have expected from someone flesh and green, not a seasoned warrior.
General McChrysal had a right to his opinions. But disrespect to the Commander in Chief will get you a$$ time on the carpit. The world wide open  disrespect for the President, his CO, could not just be brushed away. He set a poor example to the men and women under him. In openingly voicing his frustations, he came no thought to the feelings, the needs of the men and women who are out in the field, following his orders.
Mr.Obama had no choice.
In the military, we lead by example. My husbands says if he wants respect from those who serve under him, he has to show them not only respect, but that he cares for them. He must model respect by showing it to his uppers. And when there is a disagreement, go to the CO and dicuss the matter. And no matter the outcome, never diss a CO or his/her orders and/or actions.
General David Petraeus is now in charge. May G-d give him wisdom.
May G-d bless General McChrysal as he moves onto whatever the future holds for him.

Friday, June 18, 2010

It's a Reel Thing: One Week Ago#links#links#links#links

Remembering five years ago when our engagement pictures were taken...

Dwayne asked Mark to think about what life was like before he met me....

What is like with me in it.....

Mark said: "My beloved and my best friend...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

It's Worth It

It's Worth It
So I dragged the three trunks into the study. They weren't that heavy.
Dinningroom regain. Now I can dress the table and prepare for a romantic meal; whenever I get the news he's coming home.
Then after my shower and braiding my hair, I went  to the store. Man alive it is hot out there!
But at least I didn't get sick. After several days recovering from food posioning, I wasn't sure how I would do. But I made it.
 However, I did catch a cab home.
The cabbie I got was awesome. He not only opened the door for me, placed the bags into the trunk of the cab, but carried the bags upstairs for me.
After speaking to my mother, I put away the food and went to take a nap.

 During the day, I'd been wondering if all Mark and I have gone these past several years; his coming home with cancer, chemo and radition, back to back deployments, delays one after another. Is waiting for retirement really worth all of this.
And then there are the people who make our lives so difficult inside and outside the service because we are army Those americans who view my husband as a killer, a rapist, helping to steal another country's land or worsr, trying to bring to its people freedoms we enjoy here, but take for granted. Why not just quit and return to full-time teaching....

And then Mark sends me this picture. This is Mark gurading a set of Colours that were flown over ground zero in New York City. I look at his face. The expression says it all.
It is worth it. As an officer in the Untied States Mark has vowed to guard those colours. And I stand behind the man.
Full circle. We were attacked on 9-11-2001. President Bush did not start this war; 19 men on a plane did. And what the world did not expect was we would hit back.
It has been said Amercians have no stomach-no guts when it comes to war. That when we start seeing the body bags flown home, we will go running to the White House and demand an end.
Some have done this.
My take; get the job done; make friends with the people; kick the emnies a@@ and bring them home when the job's done.
I want my man home; I need my man home.
But I remain a proud Cpt's wife.
Yes, it's worth it.

Monday, June 14, 2010

This Stinks!

From Mark's Birthday, 2009

Actaully Frday night, that isn't the work I used....
Mark: "Come on Laini, I want to hear you say it...The Army Sucks!"
Laini: "I can't say that!"
Mark: "Yes you can. Now let me hear you..."
And I let it rip!
It isn't Mark's fault; this is his job and the army is making sure he is ok.
But Mark has been in the Untited States for almost two weeks and I haven't seen him yet. And I can't go up to him: I still wounldn't able to see him. Just sitting in a hotel room all alone.
How much are we as military spouses and families are suppose to take?
I thought the days of "if the army wanted you to have a family, they would have issused you one were over?"
This is the longest war this nation has ever fought in. I am not going to get into the politlical ins and outs of this conflict: Mr. Obama is the President and it's his to deal with.
We the families, however, are having to deal with it as well. With back to back deployments that aren't even a year apart now, marriages are under more strain and many are breaking up. More and more military children are having problems and getting into trouble. And while more folks are entering the service, it is the Army Reservist that is still the most used.
I am proud of my husband. I am proud that he has chosen to serve his nation. I stand with him and would never dream of asking him to leave the service, or leave him.
He has been gone for so long....
Just let me hold him....

What Do Mean You Another Seven to Ten Day?????

It all started really Monday afternoon.
I went downstairs for the mail and found two We Tried to Deliever notices.
Really? No one rang my door bell, nor were the notices on my door.
So I called to have them redelievered.
The two boxes arrived the next day just afternoon the laptop was returned form repairs.
I then looked at the notice again because I was expecting trunks. One notice was for boxes and the other for trunks, so I had to call for redelievery.
There suppose to arrive Friday by 3pm,
Having this funny feeling, I went downstairs to the mailbox and sure enough, the mail carrier did not come upstairs and deliever the trunks. Another notice was in my mailbox, this time a final notice!
Back on the phone.
And this time, I wasn't nice. I amde it clear someone was lying: no one made an effort to deliever the thrunks and I was home all day. My day had been shot; my holy day was about to begin and voilated because the US Postal Service no regard to anyone's faith and the trunks were the personal items of a returning soldier from a year's deployment.
Do you call this supporting our troops????
Yes, I had the flag waving and the tears flowing. I was promised they would arrive Monday.
Bright and early Shabbat, I recieve a call from the Post Office. It seems the Manger recieved my complaint and called. The local post office never recieved the messages to redeliever. He didn't knwo what was going on, but would deal with it. But if I was home this morning, he would have the trunks delievered. Two hours later, Mark's trunks and three boxes being placed in the Dinningroom.
Marty, I'm not finish....
After the phone calls Friday, I broke with Tradition and ordered Chinese Food.
Then Mark called.
Change of plans. Fort Dix no longers does the ongoing medical care (like cancer screening) unless your station at Dix. So new medical orders have to be cut and Mark has to send to a treatment center (we are praying for Portmouth Naval, that way he can come home). New orders take seven to ten days to cut.
Seven to ten days.
"This means your not coming home Monday or Tuesday..."
"This means you may not be coming home this coming weekend...""This means the army could send you to a treatment center outside Virgina for 60 days...."
I didn't the news well....how do you accept the fact that the man you have for prayed for, longed for, watched out for, for a year, is sitting six hours away and you have to wait another two weeks. How much is a military spouse to put up with? Don't we pay a high enough price without being jerked about like this?
Forty-five minutes after supper Mark called, knowing his wife was a mess.
Plus I was royality sick from the worst Chinese food I'd ever eaten
I think I earned that crown, Marty.....
I am finally on the other side of being sick from Chinese. When I told Mark where I did take out, he groaned. That's not the one we use and it is even looks nasty outside.
Now he tells me.

It's a Reel Thing: New Month, New Challenges#links#links#links#links

It's a Reel Thing: New Month, New Challenges#links#links#links#links