Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Bitter and The Sweet

When our service member is home and life is happy, it is easy enjoy the military life.
But when duty calls, many decide this isn't the life for them anyone.
Mama didn't tell me their would be days like this....
Whether it is traning exercises or real world deployment or worse, now into it's seventh year, back to back deploymnents in a warzone, so many complain by letter, e-mail and phone that the service doen't even want to call home, knowing what waits them.
Parnets complain about missed birthday and angry that they shall miss their sister's wedding.
Wives fear being a young widow and raising children alone, while husbands fear their wives will fall in love with one of the guys she works with.
There are often outburst of anger when one hasn't had a phone call in days or weeks and the service member may stop calling all together. Ultmatumn often issued: it's the service or me.
As the mum of a sailor, I have indeed done my share of prayer-worrying. Sad that I missed a birthday, but send a huge carepackage. I still light a candle for him.
As the wife of a soldier, I also know the frustations of no e-mail or weeks of no contact. But I don't get angry. I am aware that computers and phones go down or if there was a death in the unit, a news blackout until the family can be contacted. When my phone rings, I am just so happy to hear his voice. I am thrilled to get a e-mail and the little surprises like a new tunic from where he is, always makes my day.
It is bittersweet to marry into the military.
It is a hard life when your beloved is away. But that person is still your beloved.
No one can warn or really prepare you for this life. There are now books on the subject and the military is doing a better job at preparing families, but it is still like learning to swin: you can't just read about it. You still have to get into the water.
The military doesn't destroy marriages; it does shine a light in it. It can make your marriage stronger, or you can allow it to make it weaker.
Notice I said ALLOW.
Marriage takes two people. And like any marriage, a military is as strong and weak, as loving as the couple.
No, I shall never say it is easy for my Mark to be so far away from me. To not feel his warmth in our bed or feel his arms around me when I am cooking.
But I love the man and I know he loves me. We are committed to the G-d we both love, each other and OUR job.
The military.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

House Work

Yes, I know, many women hate it. I can't say love cleaning.
And yet I can't say I hate it too.
Because when I think of the love that went into creating this apartment, the feel we wanted, the love that is shared in this home, how can I hate to clean it?
I think of the meals we have shared with family as well as friends. The laugher that has filled the air. When I think how Mark and I took our time (well, Mark was patient with me) to find just the right apartment. How we together picked out the Dinningroom set and Mark's excitement when he found just the right livingroom suite. And it was; we just had to change the colour.
It is the place after a year's deployment, my beloved comes back to, rest his head and be with the woman he loves.
And G-d willing, one day, the laugher of children shall fill our home.
So, off to cleaning my lovely home I go.
Maybe I shall even recieve a call today.