Personally, we know that folk mean well (well, most of the time) and really don't know that their words hurt. I have started saying to people when their words cut, "I know you didn't mean that, but what you just said, I felt...." I confess I can be a little overly sensitive at this time as well and trying to give a little more grace.
1. Do you miss him? ( As much as I would like to say, "that's a dumb question, or duh! I just look at the person.)
2. I don't know how you do it. (I "do it" because I love my husband and he loves me. We we are one flesh, so we are "doing it" together. I support him fully, I am that soft place he can far on. I "do it" through relying upon One Greater than I. I "just do it!" )
3. I know just how you feel. (Hmmm, I don't think so. Unless your husband is 24/7 in a war zone for the next 13-15 months, there is no way you "know how I feel." )
4. I would die if my husband left me for that long.( My husband didn't "leave me!" he is off, doing his job , serving and defending our country. )
5. Has he had to kill anyone? (He wouldn't tell me if he did and what makes you think I would tell you? Why is that any of your business? )
6. Aren't you afraid of him now? (Why should I be? Your assumming that my beloved Teddy Bear has turned into serial killer. And again, how is that any of your business? )
7. Aren't you worried he's going to cheat on you? (You don't know my husband, else you would have never asked that question. I have as much faith in my beloved and he has in me. If he or anyone will be unfaithful to their mate, it doesn't matter if their deployed overseas or the lady next door.)
8. Are you excited he's coming home? Raised eyebrow.
9. Why couldn't he get a REAL job? He HAS a REAL JOB! My husband serves and protects the United States of America and her people, defending her shores and her people from enemies both home and abroad. And part of his job is protecting folks who don't appreciate the job he and his services men and women perform.
10. Well, things are getting better, so you don't have to really worry about him. (Iraq? Safe? Are you joking? Yes! Things are turning about. But we are still at war, men and women are still dying. The are still Roadside Bombs, etc. I will stop worrying when I am holding my beloved in my arms.
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