Sunday, October 19, 2008

Her Guide For Surviving His Deployment

While surfing the internet for online support groups, I found the following. I am making a copy of this even as I type.

Here are a few hints and tricks for getting through the worst parts of sending your guy off all over the world. Each idea was contributed by members of our community here at Army Wives Forums!
-Take it one day at a time! Focus on the present, and look forward to the future. The days only get better!
-Just remember, IT WILL BE OVER EVENTUALLY! So make things to count down till instead of looking at the BIG PICTURE, even if it is just R&R.
-Get a hobby you know he would have NO interest in whatsoever!!!
-If you have young ones, be active on playgroups!
-Take this time to learn something new. Grow as a person, while he is gone. He will be impressed when he gets home.
-Write in a journal everyday or night. Put down your thoughts, feelings, what you did and anything else. I also added what the weather was like everyday. Then send it to him when it's full or save it for when he gets back. That way whatever he misses cause you can't tell him on the phone or in email, he will still know eventually!
-Just knowing that your husband/fiance/boyfriend is doing such a wonderful thing by serving his country has gotten me through even the worst of days!
-Dont forget about's ok to cry, it's ok to get mad, it's ok to throw things...bottling up those emotions are only going to hurt worse in the long run...its healthy to your mind and heart to let it all out sometimes...just make sure you do it in the most appropriate ways..
-Pondering and asking yourself questions about your relationship is completely normal no matter where your partner is, but it isn't healthy or good for you to take it to the extreme. Ask yourself questions, but after every "session" remember to tell yourself you are in love with the most wonderful man in the world. Thats why you are doing it. And you are taking part in the creation of a hero.
-In the midst of counting down, don't forget to cherish that moment that you are in.
-Keep pictures of the both of you together in your car, purse, and everywhere around the house/apt. Everytime you look at them relive that moment and how much you love each other!
-Visit with family as much as you can.
-You always hear about the healing power of touch...which is GONE during deployment. To combat that, I try to be around a lot of babies I can hold and animals I can pet. I also get massages. It does not replace the affection of a husband, but it does help.
-Count down by Sundays or Trash Days even instead of EVERY DAY. 52 is a MUCH smaller number than 365. And if you have small countdowns every week to get to that one day a week you're "counting" it makes the time seem to pass faster.
-Make sure that you have someone that you can trust and lean on in hard times. Don't feel bad about needing a shoulder to cry on or a face (or computer screen, telephone reciever) to vent at. Keeping it bottled will destroy you.
-Put together a care package that they can take with them including b-day cards, v-day cards, anniversary etc. Also include cards for those days that they are just feeling blue.

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