It's a Reel Thing: A Christmas Carol RevisitedFrom time to time I like to read older post. I like to see how much I have grown over the years, becoming what rabbi mark Gulon calls a lovely human being. This is one of my favorites and fitting for the season.
#linksIt was so nice to have the hubby home for Hanukkah. With all that we went through this year, Mark and I decided to keep it lowkey. But we did get together with friends one evening and of course enjoyed the sights and sounds of the Festival of Lights.
We who are the sons and daughters of Abrahma know how different our life is.
I have no problem with being amoung "the chosen people." We have been chosen to bring Torah to the world. We women light the Shabbat candles once a week, light that shines from Shabbat to Shabbat. And whether you believe in a real, personal Messiah (like we do) a Messianc Age, that he has come or will come, it is from the loins of the hebrew people he shall come.
It is an easy life. Everything in our lives, from clothing to food reminds us that we have the Name of the Creator upon us. That we are called to live a life that is shines like the menorah that once stood in the temple, shining forth a light that draws all men and women to G-d. I cover my head to keep my beauty for my husband alone. Mark the kippah becuase he is under the submission of G-d. How often Mark and I are seen as the "jews first" and then Mark and Laini.
This is true even in the army.
How often we hear, "how can you be jewish and in the army." "isn't Mark being in the army against Torah?"
I often find that wheen people hear the word “military”, they automatically think of cool umiforms, guns, jeeps, warships and bombs. They think of airports with men and women dressed in greens and blues heading for home or another deployment.
Or they think of the technology that continues to makes our military the superior force in the world, of what seems to be an never ending war in a land that is stuck in the Stone Age.
As Mrs. Major, I hear this all the time.
What I also often see is that people overlook, that undereath the cool umiform are real flesh and blood people who are leaving loved ones and praying that they return home safe. They forget there are family and friends praying for their loved ones far from the supper table. They forget that they want to be a force of change. That with the guns, tanks, jeeps and bombs, but also stuffed animals, clear water and building schools. That many carry with them into the warzone their faith That faith is one of the common threads that unites us not only as a nation, but remains one of our strongest military assets.
They forget that when these servicemen and women are off duty, many head for places set aside for worship. And for some, those place are also their sleeping quarters.
While all faiths are welcome in the armed services and many do, it is hard to practice one's faith in the mililarty. And for some of us, it is harder than others.
When you think of soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines of faith, jewish isn't the first faith that comes to mind. During this time, our thoughts turn to getting Christmas gifts and cards to servicemen and women.
Not Hanukkah.
I remember taking Mark to the airport when his R&R was over last Feburay and an older gentleman stopped us to thank both of us for our service. Spotting Mark's kippah, he asked if it was hard to be jewish and in the army. Mark said sometimes, but he makes it work. He says he craves out the time he needs to pray, to study torah and keep Shabbat the best he can. Sometimes he is the only Jew in his unit and sometimes there are a few jewish soldiers.
The man nodden and noted that with Mark's size, few would mess with him.
So true.
Even from the birth of this nation, the jewish people have had a hand not only in the building of America, but also serving and protecting her.
We are commanded to be protectors of life. Not to sit back and allow others to attack us and not fight back. When our home, family the inoccent are threaten, Torah commands we stand up and protect ourselves, our loved ones, our homes. And therefor it is right and proper for those who chose to, to join the mililarty and service their nation.
But it ain't.
I hate that last week before he leaves, when I have to face seeing Mark's thick and lush beard shaved off. Packing extra Tzit Tzit and Shabbat candles.
If there are other jews in the unit, Mark shares Ere Shabbat and other holy days with them. If there are none, and most of the time there are not, he calls me, we light the candles together, and then he goes to his room to keep Shabbat the best he can.
It ain't easy, but its worth it. For while hard, it is a challenge that we chose to meet.
Just as we do in every area of our lives. Just as there are times when we are to past on a dish because it isn't kosher, Mark has to be just as picky when on post. Just as we take care of what we read, watch and the company we keep, so too, Mark has to do the same when deployed.
For in having to find created ways to practice our faith, it becomes something precious and more dear.
Hmmm, sounds like a jewish marriage.
I can't believe it has actually been four months since I have written in this blog!
But then, it has been a crazy four months.
Right after mark was placed in the Woulded Warrior program, we learned a friend almost died. It seems he hadn't been taking care of himself (very high blood sugar) and found himself in hosptial. He lost a small part of his right toe. He lived alone and no one to care for him when he went home. So Mark and I talked about it and he came to live with us.
What we thought would be three weeks, turned into almost four months. It is always hard having another person in your home. And our apartment isn't that big.
But our friend fully recovered, coming along further and faster than anyone had expected and now back in his home, thankful for the second chance he has been given.
But it was hard. As believers in G-d, we know it was the right thing to do. But it was hard on us, for this our time. Little help came from his church. A few people helped with meals or taking him over the weekends, etc. This was Mark's leave and we really had to work through the feeling that time was thrown away.
We know that G-d shall bless us. He has blessed us.
During this time, with the delay of Mark's homecoming, illness, family drama, Mark's depression, our marriage took a hit. There was a point where someone even tried to take advange of the tension and tried to inbetween us.
It was a nice try, but no go.
So last week, for Thanksgiving, Mark and I went away to Colonial Williamsburg to celebrate and to reconnect. We truly love each other, but we had to knock down the wall that was beginning to build between us.
It takes work to have a great marriage. Like the tending of a garden, one needs to keep watch of the weeds and bugs. Sometimes there is reseeding, pruning. That way you can enjoy the beauty all year round.
So we enjoyed five amazing days in Williamburg and now getting ready for Hanukkah.
Last year, i was sending Hanukkah to Afghantisan.
This year, my soldier is home.
A funny thing happens with deployments and reentries. Things you never hear about in the news, they don't tell you in the briefings (if they call you) is there could be a delay in your loved ones coming home.
In our case, Mark being a cancer survior, he had to enter a program to go through the whole Cancer screening before he could come home to me.
And because of several bolts of army red tape, it took three weeks after Mark was in the States for him to return to Virgina and enter into the program here.
So, he was home on a four day past, last weekend and starting Monday, he gets to come home in the evening. But it a strange twist, being that he is now on medical orders, he is still "gone."
Go figure.
I don't complain because I get to see him off in the monring and welcome back in the evening. And that is a good thing.
Once he is relaeased from these orders, Mark will be on Leave.
So until then, our travel plans are on hold.
But that's ok.
Because I'm back in his strong arms again, hearing the beat of his heart.
He's almost home.
Shalom:
To all our readers; A very happy fourth of July.
Since it is Mark's second weekend home, we decided to make it a quiet one, a quiet celebration.
Frankly, being fresh from the warzone, the fireworks are just alittle much for Mark. They remind him of the bombs and bullets. He doesn't need that reminder.
So I am making pasta salad and grilling hot dogs, making Moroccan SunTea and enjoying these few days with my guy.
He returns to work Tuesday and the good news, he gets to come home in the evening. The army is just making sure hubby is ok because of the cancer years ago.
Once I am given the all clear sign, we are planning a cook-out to welcome Mark home. And then we take off for Mark's birthday/my birthday/ our wedding anniversary celebration.
But today, we celebrate this nation's birthday, our freedom.
And our being together.
He swore to protect this country... I swore to protect his heart"....We never get used to it, we just get through it" "combat boots + flip flops=Love
Shalom:
when I started this blog, it was to help see me through the rough times of Mark's deployment. A way for Mark to be able from time to time to share what he could about what his life in the field was like. A way for folks at home to send messages of love to him, those messages he could read if and when he could get online.
We both made mistakes: gave out bits of imformation at time when we should not have. As I learned more about being an army wife, I began taking more care of what I did and did not share.
We do not share the date of a unit's leaving or returning. You never write about a unit moving. In the field is one thing: where that field is- a no-no.
I watch the pictures I post. If another soldier is included, I make sure their name and naything that would give away the unit is not seen.
We don't share where the unit is stated, if there are injuries or death, never wraite about it until after the families are contacted. That is why there is often a news blackout.
There is quite a bit more. The reason: to protect the troops.
People don't realize that the enemy also reads and what we as spouses, as military folk could endanger our loved ones in the fields.
Often I am asked when is he coming home and when some folks get mad because I don't answer. Not because of some deep, dark secret, but because until he is released from present orders, he is a soldier on the move.
And I want him and all our loved ones home in one piece.
