An Army Dog

Yesterday, after I finished some medical test, Mark said he had been thinking about getting me a puppy. Yes, there is no job right now, no money. And yet he thought this was the time to get a puppy.
But a funny thing happen on the way to the SPCA.
During the holidays, we dog sat for some friends. After returning home and finding that we had bonded with the little guy, the family offered us the dog. They already have another small dog and felt both were not getting the attention they truly needed.
So that's is how Montague Theodore Reel, Yorkshire-Papillon came to live with us.

Montague is about 13 years old, though he niether looks or act like it. A smart, sharp little guy with a will of his own.  And he is a lapdog. He loves to jump into folks laps and be cuddled. He has been with us three weeks now and is adored by everyone he meets.
Except PitBulls. For some reason, Monte and Pits do not like each other. And while for the most part, he does play well with other big dogs, he does think he can take on any big dog.
But then, Monte thinks he is a big dog.
The biggest miracle is Mark. Not that he and Monte get along. We both love dogs. But Mark believes that a dog is a dog and a human is a human. He doesn't believe dogs should be fed from the table, sleep on beds, sit of the sofa or wear clothes.
But in the past three weeks Monte has lived with us, this has all changed. Gues who feeds Monte from the table, lets sit with him on the sofa and makes sure he has on his sweather before he goes out?

So now we are the parnets of a furry creature named Montague. And during this time of trials, he has brought so much joy and laugher to our home, chasing away the blues and giving us another reason to get up in the morning.
It does cause me to wonder if there is another deployment in our future. It was one of the reasons Mark wanted me to have a dog. So I wouldn't be alone and have something else to focus on.
Not a bad idea.

Deployment: Make it Work

With each deployment, I learned new things.
One of the things I learned for us, deployment is a lifestyle. Mark is a Civil Affairs officer and his skills are still very much needed. So, until he retires, this is our life.
Yes, I missed my husband; my beloved, my lover, my bestfriend, my playmate.
But the distrance just made me realise how much I loved him and how Mark loves me.
With each deployment, I learned where my strenghts and weakness were.I put to use skills and talents I allow to lay dormate, such as sewing.
I had started a quilt for Mark, but with the wedding, honeymoon and then moving into our first apartment, the quilt got push to the back burner.
So with the 2007-2008 deploymnet, I began working once again on Mark's quilt.
I also began to ask to decorate our Fellowship room for special events our former Temple would have. Not only did this take me out of myself, but it was something that brought joy to others. I found skills I didn't know I had, such as making small repairs around the house. I began taking long walks again, keeping my health up, knowing if I didn't Mark would worry.
I kept our lives going as much as possiable. Mark needed to know that the home fires were still burning, that I still needed him, but until he returned to my side, I was strong enough to stand.
 electrician,
During the 2009-2010 deployment, I found a new hobbey, photography. While I have always loved to take pictures, while Mark served overseas, I horned in my skills. And who knows, I might even be able to learn a little money with my cameria.
So I had something new to share with Mark whenever he called. I would tell him about the pictures I had taken during the day; our neighourhood, the dogs playing in the Dog Park, some of the places of worship in our city. He would in turn send me pictures of where he served, giving me a glimpce of his world.
From time to time, I would meet one of his fellow soldier via the phone. They spoke with such respect of my Beloved, I could here the pride they had in serving under Mark, working with him. They told funny stories, such as two of the soldiers actually cleaning his desk and threatening his if he messed up again. I asked their secret since he still doesn't keep his desk straight. I grew to have more appreaction for Mark as I saw him through others eyes.
It is a wise family that learns deployment to make them better people, to grow and to learn from it.
I learned who my friends really were. I even made new friends. 
I took hold of deployment and made it work for me.
And you can too. 

The Thin Line

There are times it is very hard to figure out when one has crossed the line from sharing one's pain and longing and whining. To know when it is ok to stay in bed for the day or to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. When letting the housework slide is ok and when you need to really pull yourself together.
To know when to be strong and when it is ok to admit your not.
When do we allow  friend to cry on our shoulder because their missing thier beloved who still has six months to go on their deployment and when do we grab them by the shoulders and tell them to "Man Up! Your spouse needs YOU to be strong!"
Not having children (yet) I don't have the blessing of little people to take care of. And since I am a homemaker, I keep the Tent of the Reel Tribe in running order.
For me, I allow one day of depression, of sleeping in, of crying and maybe a bowl (small) of ice cream.
But then there is the next day....
"Mrs R! Look at YOU!!!! Get in that shower! Braid your hair! Put on rose body oil, the scent your man likes. Put on your sweats and go out for that morning walk! MOVE IT!"
There are times the tears fall and I let them.
Others, i go and wash my face and smile into my reflection in the mirror, remembering that there is someone half way around the world that loves this face. And I need to take care of me and our home for him. Just as he is taking care of himself to come back to me.
I look at that reflection and remind myself that I am a woman, not a child. That I don't whine, but shine.
And that only big girls get to wear Hot Pink Panties.
So deal with it.

Chili Without Beans

One of the few nice things about Mark being deployed is that I can enjoy my Chili. Without beans.
I am not a big kidney bean (red bean) lover and frankly I like my Chili without beans. I  pour over corn chips (for the crunch) and a nice tall cold Coke.
And then there is Corn Bread Chili.
When the Chili is half cooked, you spoon small portions of Corn Bread mixture (my is homemade. Jiffy isn't kosher) on top of the still cooking Chili and it cooks the Corn Bread, giving it a nice topping.
And because I use Kosher ground beef and turkey, no cheese.
Mark loves beans in his Chili.
In fact, he prefers 18 bean Chili.
Just have to make sure the beans are fresh. Nothing worse than Chili and stale beans.
Of course there is meatless Chili, just the beans.
Yuck!
Now don't get me wrong, I would make a huge pot of Chili brimming with beans right now if it brought my beloved tomorrow.
But since he isn't here, I shall before the Telly, NOT watching the election results (as an American that is my right) and enjoy my very meaty Chili.
Keep your head down, beloved.

Plan of Action

From 21th November
One of the things I am learning is who is safe to turn to and who isn't.
And while G-d has been gracious with whom He has send, there has been a few times I have been unwise what I have shared. By no fault of their own, many just can't handle the waves of emotion and I have to respect that. I know who I can turn to and who I cannot.
I plan to meet with Rabbi Joe if possiable after the holidays. I am also waiting a call from Command .
I plan to go away today and do some writing and then work on Mark's quilt. I will have a cup of Starbucks and a scone.
I will dance.

Limit television coverage related to your loved one's duty . Watching repeated media coverage of conflicts or wars that a family member is involved in could be emotionally draining. Set a limit for News Coverage and then find something fun.

Keep track of the time for which a loved one will be gone. "I (Laini) keep a calendar with smiley faces counting down to the day mark comes home.
Create a special photo album or scrapbook for children . I have begun taking pictures; The Bazaar last week, Thankgiving tomorrow, Hanukkah, etc.
Coping with stress and anxiety when a loved one has been deployed There are several stages of emotion you may go through when a loved one has been deployed. When they first are informed about a deployment, many people begin anticipating the extended absence of a loved one, which may cause feelings of confusion, anger, resentment, or depression. If you experience any of these emotions you can:
talk to your loved one about your feelings
work to create opportunities for lasting memories during the separation
involve your entire family in preparing for the deployment
When the time of departure draws near, some people may begin to feel detached or withdrawn. Feelings of hopelessness, impatience, and decreased emotional or physical intimacy are common reactions to an impending deployment. When a loved one leaves, familymembers may go through a difficult adjustment period. An increased sense of independence and freedom may be countered by periods of sadness and loneliness. If you have trouble adjusting to the absence of a spouse or loved one you can:
Cultivate new skills or hobbies . Take a class or start a project you've always wanted to do. It's important to continue personal growth when a loved one has been deployed. Open yourself to new experiences and friendships
Keep a journal . Many people find that writing down their thoughts and feelings is comforting when they are separated from a loved one.
Offer empathy and support to others . Remember that you aren't alone. Find a support group or plan events with other families who are experiencing the same thing.
Seek support from your faith community. Many people find comfort and solace from their faith communities during difficult times.
Do something special for yourself and your family. Rent a movie or cook a meal that your loved one wouldn't necessarily enjoy. Plan fun outings with children during free time.
Seek professional counseling . If you feel like you can't cope with the absence of a loved one, contact your health care provider or employee assistance program (EAP) to find a counselor.
Ignore rumors . Many people have trouble dealing with limited information about the whereabouts and activities of a loved one during deployment. It may be difficult to ignore rumors or gossip, but it's important to rely on official sources of information when a family member has been deployed.