LoveFromIraq

2012-02-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

No sir, you have not been forgotten.

Laugh For the Day

2012-02-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

When I saw this picture today, I remember right after we announced our engagement, Mark hugged me like this and same those famous lines above. And i have to admit, I do the same thing to.

Isn't it nice to be loved so much?

We Made Our Huppah: It Rained That Too#links

2012-02-13T07:53:00.000-08:00

We Made Our Huppah: It Rained That Too#links

A Reel Dog.

2012-02-12T15:17:00.000-08:00

Montague has been part of our family for almost two months now.
And think he is fitting in very nicely:

His first night home....

"Red beans and rice...your going to share, right?"

"Since your not using your office chair, you don't mind if I take my nap here, right?

"My Beatle Look."

"Well, we are a Army family...."

"Ain't I cute?"

There Were Those Who Served

2012-02-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

It is once again Black History Month.
I remember one of the first facts I learned in school that the celebration of Black achievements, in our nation and in our world.
Amoung them are men and women, who despite the odds, when their nation called, they answered. Yes,
I refer the black men and women who joined and served in the Armed Services. And like many others, their blood was shed for the very freedoms we hold dear.

The very first was Crispus Attucks. In 1770, Crispus Attucks was the first casualty of the Amercian Revolution.

This statue of Crispus Attucks is in the heart of the Boston Commons.

The Boston Commons was my son Aries's playground; we lived only a few blocks away from the Commons. And I would make a point to tell Aries the story of Mr. Attucks.

There were many others who would die in wars since then.

And blacks never failed to answer the call.

Whether it was the War of 1812, the Civil Was, two World Wars to the present, blacks picked up and bear arms for a country that often question their loyalty African-American soldiers and civilians fought a two-front battle during World War II. There was the enemy overseas, and also the battle against prejudice at home.

"Soldiers were fighting the world's worst racist, Adolph Hitler, in the world's most segregated army," says historian and National Geographic explorer in residence Stephen Ambrose. "The irony did not go unnoticed."

Good enough to fight, good enough to shed their blood. But when they returned home, the black serviceman still had to ride in the back of the bus and could drink from the same water fountain.

Many of my own family members were and are amoung those who donned the uniform of service to this nation. About three years ago, I found a copy of my grandfather Joe Prude's (my mother's father's) draft card. My uncles served in the service, as well as many of my cousins. I have at least two members of my family deployed, as well as my son, Aries. He followed in the steps of my late Uncle Joe Jr. and went into the Navy. My step-father and father-in-law have served and my husband is still in the Army Reserves.

We as a nation have indeed come a long way. Now men as well as women of all colours and religions are welcome to join the branch of their choice. No, it isn't perfect. But it is better than it was.

Is there still racism in the service? Sadly, yes. But now it isn't permitted or winked at.

A nation is as Strong and as good as her people.

And we are a good people.

Stop Racism

2012-01-30T06:46:00.001-08:00

Wall Photos

This happened on TAM airlines.

A 50-something year old white woman arrived at ...her seat and saw that the passenger next to her was a black man. Visibly furious, she called the air hostess.

"What's the problem, ma?" the hostess asked her
"Can't you see?" the lady said - "I was given a seat next to a black man. I can't seat here next to him. You have to change my seat"

- "Please, calm down, ma" - said the hostess
"Unfortunately, all the seats are occupied, but I'm still going to check if we have any."

The hostess left and returned some minutes later.

"Madam, as I told you, there isn't any empty seat in this class- economy class.
But I spoke to the captain and he confirmed that there isn't any empty seats in the economy class. We only have seats in the first class."

And before the woman said anything, the hostess continued

"Look, it is unusual for our company to allow a passenger from the economy class change to the first class.
However, given the circumstances, the commandant thinks that it would be a scandal to make a passenger travel sat next to an unpleasant person."

And turning to the black man, the hostess said:

"Which means, Sir, if you would be so nice to pack your handbag, we have reserved you a seat in the first class..."

And all the passengers nearby, who were shocked to see the scene started applauding, some standing on their feet."

Has it Really Been Eight Years?

2012-01-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

It was April, 2004. Mark had come home for R&R.
He had done some traveling through East Europe before coming home.
I remember looking forward to seeing my bestfriend.
How much I missed him. How much I loved him and thankful he was coming home, even for a visit. I knew so many people wanted to see him; friends as well as family.
But to my surprise and a happy surprise, Mark and I spend most of his visit together.
It was as if he hadn't deployed. Going shopping for things he needed back in Iraq, talking hours away over Starbucks, going to services on shabbat.
The above picture is from a birthday party given in Mark's honour. Yes, my glasses are crooked (I didn't notice at the time) It was a fun evening. I remember our host prayed for Mark and his unit's safely. I remember the sweet prayer of the youngest daughter, asking G-d to "bring Mr. Mark back to Laini"
Such sweet memories. Little did of us knew that a year later, Mark would be going through Chemo,, that the little princess who prayed for Mark, who is now 15 years old, would be the flower girl in our wedding.
Eight years.
Can't say it's been dull.

Army Pup

2012-01-27T18:00:00.000-08:00

I decided that since Montague has joined a military family, he needs some attire befitting an army dog. So I found this raincoat today;

I think it's pretty cute.

He's not so sure about the hood, however. But after he came in from his walk, Monte didn't want to take it off. So I think he likes it.

An Army Dog

2012-01-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, after I finished some medical test, Mark said he had been thinking about getting me a puppy. Yes, there is no job right now, no money. And yet he thought this was the time to get a puppy.
But a funny thing happen on the way to the SPCA.
During the holidays, we dog sat for some friends. After returning home and finding that we had bonded with the little guy, the family offered us the dog. They already have another small dog and felt both were not getting the attention they truly needed.
So that's is how Montague Theodore Reel, Yorkshire-Papillon came to live with us.

Montague is about 13 years old, though he niether looks or act like it. A smart, sharp little guy with a will of his own. And he is a lapdog. He loves to jump into folks laps and be cuddled. He has been with us three weeks now and is adored by everyone he meets.
Except PitBulls. For some reason, Monte and Pits do not like each other. And while for the most part, he does play well with other big dogs, he does think he can take on any big dog.
But then, Monte thinks he is a big dog.
The biggest miracle is Mark. Not that he and Monte get along. We both love dogs. But Mark believes that a dog is a dog and a human is a human. He doesn't believe dogs should be fed from the table, sleep on beds, sit of the sofa or wear clothes.
But in the past three weeks Monte has lived with us, this has all changed. Gues who feeds Monte from the table, lets sit with him on the sofa and makes sure he has on his sweather before he goes out?

So now we are the parnets of a furry creature named Montague. And during this time of trials, he has brought so much joy and laugher to our home, chasing away the blues and giving us another reason to get up in the morning.
It does cause me to wonder if there is another deployment in our future. It was one of the reasons Mark wanted me to have a dog. So I wouldn't be alone and have something else to focus on.
Not a bad idea.

Deployment: Make it Work

2012-01-24T10:43:00.000-08:00

With each deployment, I learned new things.
One of the things I learned for us, deployment is a lifestyle. Mark is a Civil Affairs officer and his skills are still very much needed. So, until he retires, this is our life.
Yes, I missed my husband; my beloved, my lover, my bestfriend, my playmate.
But the distrance just made me realise how much I loved him and how Mark loves me.
With each deployment, I learned where my strenghts and weakness were.I put to use skills and talents I allow to lay dormate, such as sewing.
I had started a quilt for Mark, but with the wedding, honeymoon and then moving into our first apartment, the quilt got push to the back burner.
So with the 2007-2008 deploymnet, I began working once again on Mark's quilt.
I also began to ask to decorate our Fellowship room for special events our former Temple would have. Not only did this take me out of myself, but it was something that brought joy to others. I found skills I didn't know I had, such as making small repairs around the house. I began taking long walks again, keeping my health up, knowing if I didn't Mark would worry.
I kept our lives going as much as possiable. Mark needed to know that the home fires were still burning, that I still needed him, but until he returned to my side, I was strong enough to stand.
electrician,
During the 2009-2010 deployment, I found a new hobbey, photography. While I have always loved to take pictures, while Mark served overseas, I horned in my skills. And who knows, I might even be able to learn a little money with my cameria.
So I had something new to share with Mark whenever he called. I would tell him about the pictures I had taken during the day; our neighourhood, the dogs playing in the Dog Park, some of the places of worship in our city. He would in turn send me pictures of where he served, giving me a glimpce of his world.
From time to time, I would meet one of his fellow soldier via the phone. They spoke with such respect of my Beloved, I could here the pride they had in serving under Mark, working with him. They told funny stories, such as two of the soldiers actually cleaning his desk and threatening his if he messed up again. I asked their secret since he still doesn't keep his desk straight. I grew to have more appreaction for Mark as I saw him through others eyes.
It is a wise family that learns deployment to make them better people, to grow and to learn from it.
I learned who my friends really were. I even made new friends.
I took hold of deployment and made it work for me.
And you can too.

Army Strong

2012-01-23T15:06:00.000-08:00

Shalom;

Ah love. The beauty of a married builded on love, respect, faithfulness, trust and yes, even passion. A happyily married couple is a pleasure to be around. A man or woman who has a joyful marriage, is a good employee/boss. A good marriage even leads to a longer, healther life.
The miliarty now understands that the family is the backbone of the armed services and have for several years help to devolpe programs to strenght both miliarty families.
Separation is never easy, but there are now more resources to assisted the serviceperson and their families.
I remember a few years ago, one of Mark's former CO's once told him, "one day, all of this (the army) will go away. What will remain is your marriage."
How true. One day, Mark will retired from the service. Our life together will continue.
It reminds me of raising children. One day, our children will grow up and begin lives of their own. What remains is the marriage. And if the couple was wise enough to put and keep thier relationship first and formost, the second half of their life together will be even more amazing.
This doesn't mean there won't be difficultes, rough patches and those storms that with test the marriage. But a couple united in love and committment wll weather through and find their marriage even stronger.
I know. Last year, Mark and I saw ours tested through his depression. The stression, the fights, the loud silence. But I made a promise almost seven years ago, I bond my life with this man and I would leave him when he needed me the most.
But Mark also wanted to heal and together we sailed through that dark storm and came out the stronger.
Mark has come up several little songs she has made up about me, but there is one that sums up this post:
"I'm a happy soldier, I'm a contented soldier...
'cause I have the best wife, she is the perfect wive..."
And to the miliarty's credit, the service now knows that happy, content spouses who know their loved ones are taken care of back home, makes for strong army.

Back to The Real World

2012-01-22T15:01:00.000-08:00

SkyTop Lodge. A magical, winter wonderland, filled with adventure and a hint of romance. From ice skating to dog sledding, to swimming in the inside pool to just sitting before a roaring fire with friends, there is so much you can do.

Or just enjoy an evening cuddling in your cabin.

Even ice fishing.

So after our weekend with Strong Bonds, it is now it is time for the Reel family to return to the real world.
I wish we had more time to just enjoy SkyTop Lodge. There is so much to do here. So much ground to cover. I am just thankful for the two times we have been able to come.
The tools we took away have been most helpful. Simple yes, but it made solving disagreements and issues that have and will arrive in marriage.
We learned the importance of timing. Sometimes this is not the best time to talk, so we have to agree to a time, when calm to discuss and resolve the matter.
For me, this means going away to pray or write in my journal, my feelings, so I am not coming to our meeting still angry or reacting. And it gives Mark that same space.
But both husband and wife have to agree to this, otherwise, it is not going to work.
It's funny, but we are three weeks to the day out, and we are still taking about the things we have learned.
And I find I really like my husband. Not just love him, but like him. Mark is a fun guy. He has a great sense of humour, loves to just clown around. I love to listen to him read out loud or hear him play. How his eyes flash when he plays with a baby or a dog. I love his laugh and how he strokes my cheek.
And the tripping over his boots. I laugh, because it means he is home.
The magical winter wonderful has faded into a lovely memory.
But my real world is just as magical.

Strong Bonds: The Last Day

2012-01-22T14:26:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
Sunday morning began with Chaplain Demetrius giving a sermen on marriage, based on Eph. chapter five.
And it was quite good. Demetruis not only drew from scripture, but every day examples to share about the beauty of marriage.
Afterwards came the renewal of vows.
As hebrews, we don't renewal of vows, because we don't take vows when getting married in the first place. We are as married as we are going to be. As rabbi Mark said, "it's a very romantic moment."
And it was.

Chaplain Demetrus performed the brief, but beautiful ceremony. Mark and I took our rings and then slipped them back on each other's finger.

And then, first husbands and then wives, read the words, recommitting ourselves to each other.

And you may kiss your bride.

It was a beauiful moment.
Later we learned which couple won the Date Night Contest. It was our newly-weds who recreated their first date.
Mark and I came in second.
When things winded down and everyone saying goodbye, we exchange adresses with new friends.
It was truly an amazing weekend and I cannot recommend Strong Bonds to every miliarty couple. Mark and I picked up a few more skills that help our marriage. And while we already have an amazing relationship, Strong Bonds just made it more so.
My only complain: it should one day longer.
P.S; As of this writing, using the tools we learned, Mark and I have not had one "intense fellowship" (fight

Strong Bonds: Date Night

2012-01-22T14:14:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
The afternoon session, the couples were broken into two groups.
One would make a list of what we would look for in a friend. The other, what would look for in a spouse.
The two list looked similiar.
I believe and most in the group agreed that friendship is very important in marriage. That you should marry your bestfriend.
I am blessed to have married mine.
Sometimes in marriage, with all the dailys of life, a couple can forget to just enjoy each other, spend time with each other. Sometimes, we forget to just sit down and talk.
Having fun is just as important to marriage as faithfulness and trust.
The next session was to me the most beautiful moment of the retreat.
Sexuality and Marriage.
Sex is a beautiful, wonderful expression of love between husband and wife. At that special moment, we are one, as G-d indeed. In fact, G-d rejoices over married love.
After all, it was His idea.
Rabbi Mark taught about what many wives wish their husbands knew and what husbands wish their wives knew about men.
It was here I saw my husband's heart touched. Not that we have a problem here (trust me, we don't).
But when rabbi Mark shared that when men make love to their wives, not only do they filled loved, but it is healing to his soul.
Upon hearing these words, Mark turned to me and stroked my cheek and whispered the word, "true."
Rabbi Mark is a wonderful and gentleman and his words painted a romanctic back drop for the couples for date night.
So as we were walking back to our cabin, trying to think of something to do, I turned my anke and found myself limping.
We got back to the cabin and Mark got some ice for my anke.
We took a nap and then Mark went out and got supper and we spend the evening in our cabin, sharing the evening meal, Mark applying more ice to my anke and cuddling in bed.
The only missing was a roaring fire

Strong Bonds: Saturday Evening

2012-01-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
The afternoon sessions ended with intructions for date night.
It was a contest to see which couple had the best date night. You didn't have to take part, but there would be a prize.
More about that later.

On our way back to our cabin, Mark and I talked.
I shared with him my own insights. For the retreat has been an eye opener for me.
When I was a child, I had a poor sense of direction and would often get lost. Therefore, as I got older, I would do a check and double check of directions. sometimes the directions given would be wrong and I would again find myself lost. While I did learn how to retrace my steps, it was and is still cause for panic and in insecurity for me.
So the issus wasn't really the fact that Mark didn't feel a need for the map. It was the fear of he did not know where we were. That fed into my unsecurity.
I also realise my panic said to Mark, I didn't trust him.
But I did, because when ever we found ourselves lost, Mark would stop and ask for help. Thus I knew he would get us where we needed to be.
So, how did we resolute this?
I told mark I had been thinking about how to help him. I learned from my mother to always write a list of everything we would need for a trip. I would make sure the map was included on the list.
Mark, liking the idea, promise to buy a map and leave it in the car. We ago agreed to look at the map together and highlight with a marker our travel route and go online to get printed directions.
I also Mark, even if all of this, we might still get turned around. When that happens, I remind myself I can trust you to get me where I need to be.
Mark agreed. And he said when he sees me panic, he will take my hand and remind me, "honey, I got you, it's ok."
As we laid down for a nap, Mark took me in his arms and said; "This weekend has been good for us. I have been reminded of all the reasons. I love you. This afternoon, I realised your love healed me."
I cried as I fell asleep in his arms.
"I hope those are happy tears."
All I could do was nod.
They were.

Strong Bonds: Saturday Afternoon

2012-01-20T18:48:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
After lunch and a quick nap, the afternoon sessions began.
We entered the room to find....a mess.
My first thought was; Who Let the Dogs Out?
What appeared to be a mess (paper plates, cups, big red balls little cones and pillows) was really a Mine Field. It was both a game and a teaching tool.
The wives went over to one side of the room where our husbands blindfolded us.
I am praying up a storm because the thought of walking about, not being able to see is not my favourite thing to do.

As you can see, I am not a happy camper. I felt like at any moment someone was going to put a cigarette in my mouth and ask me if I had any last words.
The husbands did with to the other side of the room and on the word GO!, they were to yell across the room and guide their blind wives through the Mine Field, not touching the stuff on the floor.
There were so many voices, I could not hear Mark. So I stood there, looking cute, not moving until I hear his voice. From time to time I would hear: "Can you hear me now?" Then and only then did I move. Finally, the voices died down and I could hear Mark.
And then the gamed ended.
The staff realised the game, while a good idea, would have worked better with a smaller group. So this time, the wives tied blind folds over the eyes of the husbands. We would stand just before them and guide them with our voices through the Mind Field.
What Mark and I learned was the following:
1. I wasn't going to more until I could hear Mark's voice. That meant I really had to listen.
2. Mark, knowing I couldn't hear him, waited until he could call to me and I could hear and follow his lead.
This is called trust. We trust each other to guide each other through the Mine Fields of Life.
For me, I follow a spiritual lesson: "The L-rd is my Shepherd, I shall not want...." "I am the Good Shepherd and my sheep hear My Voice." Moshe, during his time in the desert, took care of sheep, learning to lead a great flock, his people out of Egypt. The shepherd boy who became king, David learned to pray, worship as well as how to lead and protect the nation he would one day take his place on the throne.
We were told to keep the lesson of the Mine Field in our next session.
Events and Issues.
Events and issues do arise in every marriage.
An event: Mark has drill this weekend. We decide to meet at the Kosher Palace (no such place, would be nice) for supper Saturday at six pm.
At the last minute, Mark is called into his Co's office to help with a project, forgetting to call me to let me know he is going to be late.
Plus, because it is shabbat, his phone is turn off.
So here I am, sitting pretty, waiting for my husband.
At first, I'm not too concern. Traffic no doubt and I order a coke.
30 minutes past and I check the messages at home, thinking Mark is running late and left a message on the home phone. No message.
Maybe he took a friend home. He's been known to do that.
Another 30 minutes past and I am now getting worried. Was there an accident? Was he robbed. Maybe he's laying on a dark street, bleeding, calling out my name....
And in comes Mark, running to the table.
Not bleeding.
Now, instead of "Thank G-d! Your fine!" I am ready to kill him.
"Honey, I'm sorry, I needed to stay back..."
"And you couldn't call me? Mark you always do this!"
"But honey if my boss tells me I have to stay and work...."
"You care more about your boss and your job than you do me!"
"That's not true and your being unreasonable. You have no understanding of how my job works..."
So now we have gone into a full blown fuss (though we would have left and done this at home).
What is the real issue? Is Mark always late? No. Does Mark always forget to call me? No.
But Mark is on the defenced and he is shooting back.
This is called a Mine Field. Because there are other matters, other "voices" screaming and we cannot hear each other.
So what we need is a "time off" to cool down and decide on a time to best handle this.
What is the real issue? What is underneath the surface?
Respect. I feel Mark is disrespecting me when he doesn't call and let me know he is going to be late. That my time isn't that important . That his CO and his fellow soldiers come before I do.
Mark feels I don't respect the fact that there are times his help is needed and he may have to put in longer hours.
Easy, yes? Yes and no.
It means learning to get to what the real issue is. It means learning to diffuse the mine fields and get to the heart of the matter and coming up with a way workable plan.
Mark leaves his cell phone on. I bring a good book.
And it was this exercise that resolved the problem of the map.

Martin Luther King Jr's "I Have A Dream" Speech

2012-01-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Strong Bonds: Saturday Morning.

2012-01-15T17:29:00.000-08:00

Reactions:

Strong Bonds: The Retreat-Saturday Morning

It was a sunny, but chilly Saturday morning. Mark got up before I did to find out where and what time the classes began.
I was snuggled down in the softness of the king bed, when Mark said: "Laini, get up. The classes start at 8:00 am.
It was 7 am and I am not a morning person.
Yes, we had a fuss.
It seems we should have been there yesterday afternoon by 3:00pm because that was the opening sessions began. He didn't know that we were suppose to be there yesterday.
Here we go again.
I have to be honest; I had to work through this as well.
It really wasn't his fault because he didn't have all of the information, but I still have to work through my anger. Truth be told, I wasn't being very flexiable.
Thankfully, we weren't in trouble, the staff was just thankful we made it on time.

This is a picture of one of the cabins at SkyTop. They are rather warm and cozy. Only a five minute walk from the cabin to the main lodge where the sessions would be held.
The staff was made up of three chaplains: Chaplains Jonathan, Demetrius and Mark (Rabbi) Jonathan and Mark were married, Demetrius, single.
The resource used for the weekend was Prep For Strong bonds; Building Ready Families. It's a participant manual that we would work through. What I love about the manual is that it is something that Mark and I can continue to use in our marriage. It reminds me of the workbook we used when going through pre-martial counseling.

The first session, led by Jonathan was discussing the speaker-listening technique. While we missed the teaching class, we quickly caught on because it is a technique we already knew. In each of the packets given to the couples, there contain a tile, called The Floor. Whoever held the tile, had "the floor" and was the speaker.(sample: It upsets me when you leave the bottle of ornage juice sitting on the counter.") The other parther is the Listener. Then the floor is given to the other spouse. He or she repects back what they just heard ( so what your saying is, you don't like me leaving the orange juice sitting out.")
Some times, the orange juice sitting on the kitchen isn't really the issuse. What is the real issuse? Maybe it is one spouse is concerned that the orange juice sitting out will spoil and it has to be thrown away and that is a waste of money. The other spouse, feels they are being considerate by leaving the juice for everyone.
So how do we settle this issuse?
The couple will agree to sit down and settle the issuse.
If this was Mark and I, we would agree the juice pitch sits on the breakfast table until the meal is over and whoever cleared the table would put away the orange juice.
Simple yes?
But how many couples fight over such a simple matter.
As the morning wore on, my anger melted away. Mark not having the map wasn't the reason for my anger. It's a good reason to be upset, but not to be angry. During the morning session, I realize somthing esle was in play.
Something we would learn is, the hidden issuse.
After the break, Rabbi Mark led the session Readjustment: Deployment and Coming Home. He set the stage that marriage today is very different than in our parents, and in some ways unchanged.
Today, more wives work outside the home, not because of things the family wants, but because the family needs the extra income. Though when I was growing up, I knew very few homes where mum stayed at home. Today, more couples share the household duties and care of children. But the core values and needs are still there.
For miliatry families, there is now the added long deployments.
The group shared the pros and cons of deployments, how to be creative in staying in touch with the deployed soldier.
We then broke into soldier and spouses groups. I found this most helpful. Since Mark is a Civil Affairs officer, he is attached to a unit and send off. And I am left here with no support other than family and friends. Other spouses in the group had similair situations. We able to speak openly, knowing whatever was said, remained in that room.
I walked away, realizing, that as hard as these four deployments have been, I was truly blessed.
We headed out for lunch, at one of the little eaties at the lodge. The dinningroom prices were just a little too high.
We were invivted by another couple to join them. Then Chaplain Jonathan and his wife joined us. it was a nice lunch of hanburgers and just getting to know each other.
Later, Mark and I sat before a roaring fire and I fell asleep on Mark's shoulder as he stroked my cheek.

Strong Bonds: On Our Way

2012-01-14T19:30:00.000-08:00

We started out mid-morning Friday morning.
It was a beauiful, sunny Jaunry. It felt more like autumn than winter. I stood in front of our car as mark loaded her with our suitcases, thinking what amazing life I have.
True,n either one of us are working right now. Mark's father recent back surgery, and me having all sorts of test. We stay half a paycheck from being put out on the streets and yet, I feel blessed.
I feel blessed because I am.
I watch Mark, this man I have the honour to call my husband, my lover and my bestfriend. A man I am willing to follow through hell itself, knowing he will lead me to heaven is on the other side.
And frankly, we are going through hell.
We had been to SkyTop Lodge three weeks ago for the Yellow Ribbon and looked forwarded to returning. True, we won't have much time alone. But it is still a lovely place for a get away.
And since the event counts as AT (Anuuel Training) Mark does get paid.
Money always helps.
An hour into our trip, we both laughed over the fact that we had forgotten our music CDs, so we listened to the radio once again.
Sometimes it was a talk program. Sometimes an oldie-but-goodness station laughing with happy surprise of "YOU know that song?"

We stopped for the stretching of legs and rest rooms. The weather was being to become chilly. Good thing we had jackets in the back seat.

I thought this was rather pretty, giving visitors of the rest stop a taste of the surroundings.

I never did find out the name of this river. Maybe one day.
Soon, we were back on the road again.
I rather like these times. Since August of last year, we have attended a miliarty program of one sort or another. The pay Mark recieved for each trip has truly helped, and the get aways have been great respite from all the stress we have been under.
During these rides we talk, we laugh. Mark tells me how much he loves me. And I share my love for him.
And then it happen.....
Mark who though he could remind how to get to SkyTop without a map, got lost.
At first, I managed not to get angry or panic. I chose to believe we would by the grace of G-d get back on track.
We didn't.
By six pm, we didn't have the faintest idea where we were.
And by now, my sense of adventure was long gone. The only reason why Mark lived was because I don't drive.
We did find a Rite-Aid, with a map. We were a half an hour from the Lodge. However, somehow, someway, Mark got turned around and we were heading AWAY from SkyTop.
And yes, I was mad. Mark, being a good sport, allowed me to vent.
No, I didn't hit him.
Finally, we did get back on track, seeing buildings and signs we recoginzed, leading us to the Lodge.
I had to work through my anger, not wishing for it to ruin our weekend.
It was about nine pm when we finally arrived to SkyTop. This time we would be staying in one of the cabins.

Mark went back to main lodge and found one of the food outlets opened.
Hamburgers never tasted so good.
Knowing we would have an early morning, we headed off to bed.
And I had to pray hard.
Yes, I was angry about Mark not having the map. I knew he was sorry.
And I wasn't going to allow this to ruin our weekend.
I had to pray hard that night.

Strong Bonds

2012-01-14T18:36:00.000-08:00

Last weekend (Januray 6-8) my husband and I attended a program known as Strong Bonds
And what is Strong Bonds?
Strong Bonds is a chaplain-led programs for commanders and thier families. Its mission is to increase soldier and the family readness through relationship education and skills training. There is so much pressure on military life today. Today we face more and long deployments that can put a stain on both marriage and family life. Strong Bonds helps the family not only to prepare for deployment and/or post-deployment, but helps the miliarty family to strenghten and keep the lines of communications open.
Couples like Mark and I volunteer to participate in a Strong Bonds retreat. Though it counts as AT for the soldier. It is held offsite, the retreat is design to maximize the family relationship training impact. Also known as a getaway, it provides a comfortable place for training, but for the couple to unwind. It is at these sites, chosen by the chaplens that offer emotionally safe and secure environment, where one can address the effects of miliarty life.
The Strong Bonds we attended was held at the amazing SkyTop Lodge, SkyTop, PA.

We had attended another event here, The Yellow Ribbon Reinteration about three weeks ago and was looking forward to our returning for what we knew would be an amazing weekend.
Strong Bonds first began in 1999, with four events and 90 couples in the 25th Division, Hawaii, Strong has since spread throughout the Active and Reserve Componernts of the Army.
In 2004, the US Code was amended to allow command funding for "chaplain-led programs to assist members of the armed forces--in bulding and maintainging a strong family structure," (Title 10-1789).
In the fiscal year of 2010, the Army completed the third year of a five year longitudinal study evaluating the outcome of Strong . Preliminary outcome shows a fifty percent lower rate in divorce with an increase in marital satisfaction for participants.
Very true. For Mark and I walked away with a few tools in our toolchest. Even though it has been a week, we still are practicing the lessons we learned from Strong Bonds.
So why is this program so important to the Army?
Because strong families are the backbone of the Army. The Army realizes that when the Soldier's family is healthy and secure, the Soldier then can focus on the task at hand. Knowing thier loved ones are recieving the support needed back home, relieves their minds and hearts. Strong, loving marriages and relationships contribute to the maintenance of a healthy Army and a secure future force. While we have not gone through duty relocations, we have felt the stain of frequent deployments, we have had our relationship tested.
The research done on Strong Bonds has shown that the training couples recieves, improves communication skills, imtimacy and conflict management. As stated before, it increases marital satisfaction and reduces the rates of Family violence.
I am so happy to say that the Army sees the need and is going out of its way to help Soldiers and their Families get through the ups and down of Miliarty Life.
I highly recommand the Strong Bond Program to all our soldiers and their families.
It is truly worth the weekend.

If I had an complain, it would be it needs to be one day longer.

Love From Virginia

2012-01-14T16:46:00.000-08:00

Now that the war in Iraq is over, I have thought about changing the title of this blog.But that would be wrong, for that is how this blog began.
It is more than my husband's last two deployments. It is the blog of our life as an Army Reservist family. Of life during the progress of predeployment, deployment and post-deployment. It is our lives when Mark returns home and has to return to every day life.

Mark's last deployment ended 15 months ago. In that time Mark has gone through the Wounded Warrior Program, caring for a sick friend, several knocks to our marriage, illness, and umemployment. Mark is amoung those Veterans who has been looking for work.
He did have one job that was contracted for six weeks. But it did little to get us back on our feet.
It is a daunting task to remain hopeful for 15 months of job searching and nothing. There has been several calls to hire Vets, but few are taking up the challenge.
Like so many, we too face losing our home, and we pray for G-d to step on our behalf. But not just us. For as I watch other miliarty families struggle with losing their homes, going on food stamps and worse, marriages breaking up under the strain. I don't write this for pity, just stating hard facts.
It is hard to face twelve months of being in a warzone, away from home and loved ones, to fight for one's counrty and freedom, only to come home and find, you can't find a job or being tossed out of your home.
It is times like these we cling to the G-d of Abraham, Issac and Yacob. We hold onto our faith and we pray for each other. We helpe each other.
I pray for all of my fellow americans who are one paycheck away from being homeless. For those who need to find a job or create some means of earning an income to support themselves and care for their familes.
I remember when I was still doing private duty, caring for older folks who lived through the Great Depression. So many of my former patients would take me of how they came together as neighours, helping each other out. It was a time we as a nation learned to make do and to believe these hard times would not last forever.
I chose to believe that now. I chose to believe that our nation will not forget those who have served. I chose to believe that we as a people will continue to reach out our hands to each other.
I chose to continue believe in the goodness of America and her people.

Support Our Troops

2011-11-13T18:02:00.000-08:00

How often I hear Support Our Troops.

And I am so thankful for every person that has prayed for our men and women in the military as well as for us the families who love them.

But sometimes I wonder, how much do we as a nation really appreacte the armed forces?

Oh, I'm not talking about Carepackages and letters form school children, great as they are.

But I mean when a soldier comes home and his wife hands his the papers saying the Bank is forclosing on their home? Or the Army Reserviest (like my husband) who comes home and still can't find a job after a year.

A National Gurad who know has to go and apply for Food Stamps to feed her family. The months of waiting to be seen at the VA hosptial.

There are wonder busniesses who indeed stepped up to the plate and hired our returning Veterans. There are wonderful groups, like Support Our Troops (one of the blogs I follow,) make sure our military isn't forgotten. And then there are folks I know who pray for Mark and I and all our troops.

I truly believe that they have given theit best, yes even their lives for us.

Maybe it is time for us as a nation, to step up our game and really support our troops.

Yeah, bring them home. Give them jobs and don't take thier homes.

Roses For My Lady

2011-02-16T18:54:00.000-08:00

My husband and I refer to this month as Lovers Month. For this is the month (12th) six years ago that Mark asked me to marry him.
We celebrate this month because this is when our marriage really began. It was this time that we made convenat, sealing it under the Huppah that June.

For us it is a big deal. I decorate the house for the month, have a special meal and the past few years we have even got away for a lover's weekend.
Last year, we headed out for the Beach. Mark was home for R&R, so it was a precious time.
This year, I rejoice my hubby is home.
This year, after Hebrew class Sunday evening, we took off for Williamsburge, enjoying this special celebration.
One of the times I have always loved about Mark is that whether he is home or deployed, he workes to keep the passion, the romance going. Not to stay I don't. We work to keep the love going.
Last year, while Mark was coming home, I went shopping and found V-Day decorations at half and even ninty percent off. Including hearts and flowers wrapping paper that I covered our bedroom door with.
It has remain u.
A truly loving marriage is a romantic one. We would shower the one we love with love, not just the 14th of Feb, but every day of our lives.
Tonight as my husband takes his shower, I am so thankful he is home this year, to share this special time.
I don't take it, or him for granted.

The Joy of Shabbat

2011-02-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know it has been a few months since I have written.
Life has come to a slow pace, a peaceful place.
Mark is still home and no deployments are in sight for the next few months.
The exciting news is we will have a soon a Civil Affairs unit stand up at a nearby base. Exciting because the base is only forty-five minutes from home instead of four-six hours. It means my support when he deploy will be right here.
Of course this means Mark's beard will have to go.
And it is now so nice and full.
But I am not thinking about that right now.
I am thining about the chuck roast in the oven, smelling good. I am thinking about how nice Mark will look in his Shabbat clothes.
The lighting of the candles, the sparkle of the wine and the scent of challah. The blessings. The time with the Holy One and with my beloved.
I think of the torah being chanted and the discussions afterwards.
I think of the peace that fills our home and pray for that peace to fill other homes, other hearts, even for the people of Egypt.
The joy of Shabbat.
There is nothing like it.

#links

2010-12-12T10:47:00.000-08:00

#links
Mark's battle with depression.

It's a Reel Thing: A Christmas Carol Revisited

2010-12-12T04:41:00.000-08:00

It's a Reel Thing: A Christmas Carol Revisited
From time to time I like to read older post. I like to see how much I have grown over the years, becoming what rabbi mark Gulon calls a lovely human being. This is one of my favorites and fitting for the season.

Home For Hanukkah

2010-12-09T06:53:00.000-08:00

#links
It was so nice to have the hubby home for Hanukkah. With all that we went through this year, Mark and I decided to keep it lowkey. But we did get together with friends one evening and of course enjoyed the sights and sounds of the Festival of Lights.

It Ain't Easy: But Worth It

2010-12-02T04:47:00.000-08:00

We who are the sons and daughters of Abrahma know how different our life is.
I have no problem with being amoung "the chosen people." We have been chosen to bring Torah to the world. We women light the Shabbat candles once a week, light that shines from Shabbat to Shabbat. And whether you believe in a real, personal Messiah (like we do) a Messianc Age, that he has come or will come, it is from the loins of the hebrew people he shall come.
It is an easy life. Everything in our lives, from clothing to food reminds us that we have the Name of the Creator upon us. That we are called to live a life that is shines like the menorah that once stood in the temple, shining forth a light that draws all men and women to G-d. I cover my head to keep my beauty for my husband alone. Mark the kippah becuase he is under the submission of G-d. How often Mark and I are seen as the "jews first" and then Mark and Laini.
This is true even in the army.
How often we hear, "how can you be jewish and in the army." "isn't Mark being in the army against Torah?"
I often find that wheen people hear the word “military”, they automatically think of cool umiforms, guns, jeeps, warships and bombs. They think of airports with men and women dressed in greens and blues heading for home or another deployment.
Or they think of the technology that continues to makes our military the superior force in the world, of what seems to be an never ending war in a land that is stuck in the Stone Age.
As Mrs. Major, I hear this all the time.
What I also often see is that people overlook, that undereath the cool umiform are real flesh and blood people who are leaving loved ones and praying that they return home safe. They forget there are family and friends praying for their loved ones far from the supper table. They forget that they want to be a force of change. That with the guns, tanks, jeeps and bombs, but also stuffed animals, clear water and building schools. That many carry with them into the warzone their faith That faith is one of the common threads that unites us not only as a nation, but remains one of our strongest military assets.

They forget that when these servicemen and women are off duty, many head for places set aside for worship. And for some, those place are also their sleeping quarters.
While all faiths are welcome in the armed services and many do, it is hard to practice one's faith in the mililarty. And for some of us, it is harder than others.
When you think of soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines of faith, jewish isn't the first faith that comes to mind. During this time, our thoughts turn to getting Christmas gifts and cards to servicemen and women.
Not Hanukkah.
I remember taking Mark to the airport when his R&R was over last Feburay and an older gentleman stopped us to thank both of us for our service. Spotting Mark's kippah, he asked if it was hard to be jewish and in the army. Mark said sometimes, but he makes it work. He says he craves out the time he needs to pray, to study torah and keep Shabbat the best he can. Sometimes he is the only Jew in his unit and sometimes there are a few jewish soldiers.
The man nodden and noted that with Mark's size, few would mess with him.
So true.

Even from the birth of this nation, the jewish people have had a hand not only in the building of America, but also serving and protecting her.
We are commanded to be protectors of life. Not to sit back and allow others to attack us and not fight back. When our home, family the inoccent are threaten, Torah commands we stand up and protect ourselves, our loved ones, our homes. And therefor it is right and proper for those who chose to, to join the mililarty and service their nation.
But it ain't.
I hate that last week before he leaves, when I have to face seeing Mark's thick and lush beard shaved off. Packing extra Tzit Tzit and Shabbat candles.
If there are other jews in the unit, Mark shares Ere Shabbat and other holy days with them. If there are none, and most of the time there are not, he calls me, we light the candles together, and then he goes to his room to keep Shabbat the best he can.
It ain't easy, but its worth it. For while hard, it is a challenge that we chose to meet.
Just as we do in every area of our lives. Just as there are times when we are to past on a dish because it isn't kosher, Mark has to be just as picky when on post. Just as we take care of what we read, watch and the company we keep, so too, Mark has to do the same when deployed.
For in having to find created ways to practice our faith, it becomes something precious and more dear.
Hmmm, sounds like a jewish marriage.

It's been Four Months????

2010-11-30T05:57:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it has actually been four months since I have written in this blog!
But then, it has been a crazy four months.
Right after mark was placed in the Woulded Warrior program, we learned a friend almost died. It seems he hadn't been taking care of himself (very high blood sugar) and found himself in hosptial. He lost a small part of his right toe. He lived alone and no one to care for him when he went home. So Mark and I talked about it and he came to live with us.
What we thought would be three weeks, turned into almost four months. It is always hard having another person in your home. And our apartment isn't that big.
But our friend fully recovered, coming along further and faster than anyone had expected and now back in his home, thankful for the second chance he has been given.
But it was hard. As believers in G-d, we know it was the right thing to do. But it was hard on us, for this our time. Little help came from his church. A few people helped with meals or taking him over the weekends, etc. This was Mark's leave and we really had to work through the feeling that time was thrown away.
We know that G-d shall bless us. He has blessed us.
During this time, with the delay of Mark's homecoming, illness, family drama, Mark's depression, our marriage took a hit. There was a point where someone even tried to take advange of the tension and tried to inbetween us.
It was a nice try, but no go.
So last week, for Thanksgiving, Mark and I went away to Colonial Williamsburg to celebrate and to reconnect. We truly love each other, but we had to knock down the wall that was beginning to build between us.
It takes work to have a great marriage. Like the tending of a garden, one needs to keep watch of the weeds and bugs. Sometimes there is reseeding, pruning. That way you can enjoy the beauty all year round.
So we enjoyed five amazing days in Williamburg and now getting ready for Hanukkah.
Last year, i was sending Hanukkah to Afghantisan.
This year, my soldier is home.

Home and Yet Not Home

2010-07-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happens with deployments and reentries. Things you never hear about in the news, they don't tell you in the briefings (if they call you) is there could be a delay in your loved ones coming home.
In our case, Mark being a cancer survior, he had to enter a program to go through the whole Cancer screening before he could come home to me.
And because of several bolts of army red tape, it took three weeks after Mark was in the States for him to return to Virgina and enter into the program here.
So, he was home on a four day past, last weekend and starting Monday, he gets to come home in the evening. But it a strange twist, being that he is now on medical orders, he is still "gone."

Go figure.
I don't complain because I get to see him off in the monring and welcome back in the evening. And that is a good thing.
Once he is relaeased from these orders, Mark will be on Leave.
So until then, our travel plans are on hold.
But that's ok.
Because I'm back in his strong arms again, hearing the beat of his heart.
He's almost home.

A Quiet Fouth

2010-07-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
To all our readers; A very happy fourth of July.
Since it is Mark's second weekend home, we decided to make it a quiet one, a quiet celebration.
Frankly, being fresh from the warzone, the fireworks are just alittle much for Mark. They remind him of the bombs and bullets. He doesn't need that reminder.
So I am making pasta salad and grilling hot dogs, making Moroccan SunTea and enjoying these few days with my guy.
He returns to work Tuesday and the good news, he gets to come home in the evening. The army is just making sure hubby is ok because of the cancer years ago.
Once I am given the all clear sign, we are planning a cook-out to welcome Mark home. And then we take off for Mark's birthday/my birthday/ our wedding anniversary celebration.
But today, we celebrate this nation's birthday, our freedom.
And our being together.

Loose Lips, Sink Ships

2010-07-01T05:24:00.000-07:00

He swore to protect this country... I swore to protect his heart"....We never get used to it, we just get through it" "combat boots + flip flops=Love

Shalom:
when I started this blog, it was to help see me through the rough times of Mark's deployment. A way for Mark to be able from time to time to share what he could about what his life in the field was like. A way for folks at home to send messages of love to him, those messages he could read if and when he could get online.
We both made mistakes: gave out bits of imformation at time when we should not have. As I learned more about being an army wife, I began taking more care of what I did and did not share.
We do not share the date of a unit's leaving or returning. You never write about a unit moving. In the field is one thing: where that field is- a no-no.
I watch the pictures I post. If another soldier is included, I make sure their name and naything that would give away the unit is not seen.
We don't share where the unit is stated, if there are injuries or death, never wraite about it until after the families are contacted. That is why there is often a news blackout.
There is quite a bit more. The reason: to protect the troops.
People don't realize that the enemy also reads and what we as spouses, as military folk could endanger our loved ones in the fields.
Often I am asked when is he coming home and when some folks get mad because I don't answer. Not because of some deep, dark secret, but because until he is released from present orders, he is a soldier on the move.
And I want him and all our loved ones home in one piece.

To Be a Soldier's Wife

2010-06-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

A deployment is something you can only understand if you've been through it, and we who have loved ones in warzones need all the support we can get. Not your judgement.

As we come to the tail end of this our fourth deployment, I cannot help but reflect on these past months.
In May 2009, Mark went off for training, to prepare for an upcoming mission.

In June, he left to join his new unit.
July, there was a halt: You had cancer? We need to make sure your cancer free. This is of course AFTER Mark's THIRD deployment AFTER cancer treatment was finished.
Test done, Mark is send to rejoin his unit.
Northeastern blows into Virginia. Power is out for five days and I stay with Mark's parents.
December. I contract the swine flu. Lousy Hannukkah except for the cards I got off to Mark and the cards he got to me.
Feburany 2010. Mark comes home on R&R. He has a bad cold that is really a virus and leaves it with me, giving ne another bout with the Swine Flu.
I am not suppose to be getting the Swine flu: I'm Jewish!
Lungs were damaged, but slowly began to heal.
During this time, I did a lot of sleeping (to recover) reading (to stretch my brain and to learn new things) and even had a Starbucks buddy I met once a week.
To be a soldier's wife (or married to any of the branches of our armied forces) means to stand beside your soldier as they defend the nation.
It means Carepackages and letters and waiting up until 12 am for the phone to ring.
It means those special days are spend alone. And if you don't have children, like Mark and I, the lonliness wraps you like a shroul.
It means finding your voice, creating your space and keeping the home fires going for your loved one. It is knowing it is ok to cry yourself to sleep as well as to go out and have a good time with a buddy.
It is knowing that folks Support Our Troops and friends Support Their Spouses.
It is recieveing an e-mail thanking YOU for your service to our nation. It is a child saying, "I am praying for your husband."
It is Mark telling me about the letters he recieved from Betty and the Carepackages from Isreal. About the little Iraqi girl who played with his glasses and having out footballs. It is the tribal leader shaking Mark's hand and thanking him for all he is doing for his people.
It means you are part of something bigger than yourself and dispite what the nay-sayers claim, knowing your man is working to help improve the lives of others as well as stopping the forces outside our gates that threaten us.
Frankly, I never thought growing up I would marry a military man, but G-d did.
And as hard as this is, I have never regretted a day I said yes, I will marry you, to my soldier.

It's My Birthday!

2010-06-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

It is hard to celebrates with your love away.
So I dug out some old pictures...like from my 50th birthday party.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=186399&id=774981951&l=1487ce3d37

Lead By Example

2010-06-24T06:54:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
By now, most already know about General Stanley McChrysal, the Rolling Stone story and the outcome. I personaly respect the General, for his 30 plus years of service to our nation and for the difficult job he had in dealing the task handed to him with little support.
Dispite that, General McChrysal made a huge mistake. One I would have expected from someone flesh and green, not a seasoned warrior.
General McChrysal had a right to his opinions. But disrespect to the Commander in Chief will get you a$$ time on the carpit. The world wide open disrespect for the President, his CO, could not just be brushed away. He set a poor example to the men and women under him. In openingly voicing his frustations, he came no thought to the feelings, the needs of the men and women who are out in the field, following his orders.
Mr.Obama had no choice.
In the military, we lead by example. My husbands says if he wants respect from those who serve under him, he has to show them not only respect, but that he cares for them. He must model respect by showing it to his uppers. And when there is a disagreement, go to the CO and dicuss the matter. And no matter the outcome, never diss a CO or his/her orders and/or actions.
General David Petraeus is now in charge. May G-d give him wisdom.
May G-d bless General McChrysal as he moves onto whatever the future holds for him.

It's a Reel Thing: One Week Ago#links#links#links#links

2010-06-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: One Week Ago#links#links#links#links

Remembering five years ago when our engagement pictures were taken...

Dwayne asked Mark to think about what life was like before he met me....

What is like with me in it.....

Mark said: "My beloved and my best friend...

It's Worth It

2010-06-16T17:44:00.001-07:00

It's Worth It
Shalom:
So I dragged the three trunks into the study. They weren't that heavy.
Dinningroom regain. Now I can dress the table and prepare for a romantic meal; whenever I get the news he's coming home.
Then after my shower and braiding my hair, I went to the store. Man alive it is hot out there!
But at least I didn't get sick. After several days recovering from food posioning, I wasn't sure how I would do. But I made it.
However, I did catch a cab home.
The cabbie I got was awesome. He not only opened the door for me, placed the bags into the trunk of the cab, but carried the bags upstairs for me.
After speaking to my mother, I put away the food and went to take a nap.

During the day, I'd been wondering if all Mark and I have gone these past several years; his coming home with cancer, chemo and radition, back to back deployments, delays one after another. Is waiting for retirement really worth all of this.

And then there are the people who make our lives so difficult inside and outside the service because we are army Those americans who view my husband as a killer, a rapist, helping to steal another country's land or worsr, trying to bring to its people freedoms we enjoy here, but take for granted. Why not just quit and return to full-time teaching....

And then Mark sends me this picture. This is Mark gurading a set of Colours that were flown over ground zero in New York City. I look at his face. The expression says it all.
It is worth it. As an officer in the Untied States Mark has vowed to guard those colours. And I stand behind the man.
Full circle. We were attacked on 9-11-2001. President Bush did not start this war; 19 men on a plane did. And what the world did not expect was we would hit back.
It has been said Amercians have no stomach-no guts when it comes to war. That when we start seeing the body bags flown home, we will go running to the White House and demand an end.
Some have done this.
My take; get the job done; make friends with the people; kick the emnies a@@ and bring them home when the job's done.
I want my man home; I need my man home.
But I remain a proud Cpt's wife.
Yes, it's worth it.

This Stinks!

2010-06-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

From Mark's Birthday, 2009

Shalom:

Actaully Frday night, that isn't the work I used....
Mark: "Come on Laini, I want to hear you say it...The Army Sucks!"
Laini: "I can't say that!"
Mark: "Yes you can. Now let me hear you..."
And I let it rip!
It isn't Mark's fault; this is his job and the army is making sure he is ok.
But Mark has been in the Untited States for almost two weeks and I haven't seen him yet. And I can't go up to him: I still wounldn't able to see him. Just sitting in a hotel room all alone.
How much are we as military spouses and families are suppose to take?
I thought the days of "if the army wanted you to have a family, they would have issused you one were over?"
This is the longest war this nation has ever fought in. I am not going to get into the politlical ins and outs of this conflict: Mr. Obama is the President and it's his to deal with.
We the families, however, are having to deal with it as well. With back to back deployments that aren't even a year apart now, marriages are under more strain and many are breaking up. More and more military children are having problems and getting into trouble. And while more folks are entering the service, it is the Army Reservist that is still the most used.
I am proud of my husband. I am proud that he has chosen to serve his nation. I stand with him and would never dream of asking him to leave the service, or leave him.
He has been gone for so long....
Just let me hold him....

What Do Mean You Another Seven to Ten Day?????

2010-06-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
It all started really Monday afternoon.
I went downstairs for the mail and found two We Tried to Deliever notices.
Really? No one rang my door bell, nor were the notices on my door.
So I called to have them redelievered.
The two boxes arrived the next day just afternoon the laptop was returned form repairs.
I then looked at the notice again because I was expecting trunks. One notice was for boxes and the other for trunks, so I had to call for redelievery.
There suppose to arrive Friday by 3pm,
Having this funny feeling, I went downstairs to the mailbox and sure enough, the mail carrier did not come upstairs and deliever the trunks. Another notice was in my mailbox, this time a final notice!
Back on the phone.
And this time, I wasn't nice. I amde it clear someone was lying: no one made an effort to deliever the thrunks and I was home all day. My day had been shot; my holy day was about to begin and voilated because the US Postal Service no regard to anyone's faith and the trunks were the personal items of a returning soldier from a year's deployment.
Do you call this supporting our troops????
Yes, I had the flag waving and the tears flowing. I was promised they would arrive Monday.
Bright and early Shabbat, I recieve a call from the Post Office. It seems the Manger recieved my complaint and called. The local post office never recieved the messages to redeliever. He didn't knwo what was going on, but would deal with it. But if I was home this morning, he would have the trunks delievered. Two hours later, Mark's trunks and three boxes being placed in the Dinningroom.
Marty, I'm not finish....
After the phone calls Friday, I broke with Tradition and ordered Chinese Food.
Then Mark called.
Change of plans. Fort Dix no longers does the ongoing medical care (like cancer screening) unless your station at Dix. So new medical orders have to be cut and Mark has to send to a treatment center (we are praying for Portmouth Naval, that way he can come home). New orders take seven to ten days to cut.
Seven to ten days.
"This means your not coming home Monday or Tuesday..."
"This means you may not be coming home this coming weekend...""This means the army could send you to a treatment center outside Virgina for 60 days...."
"Yes."
I didn't the news well....how do you accept the fact that the man you have for prayed for, longed for, watched out for, for a year, is sitting six hours away and you have to wait another two weeks. How much is a military spouse to put up with? Don't we pay a high enough price without being jerked about like this?
Forty-five minutes after supper Mark called, knowing his wife was a mess.
Plus I was royality sick from the worst Chinese food I'd ever eaten
I think I earned that crown, Marty.....
I am finally on the other side of being sick from Chinese. When I told Mark where I did take out, he groaned. That's not the one we use and it is even looks nasty outside.
Now he tells me.

It's a Reel Thing: New Month, New Challenges#links#links#links#links

2010-06-14T05:56:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: New Month, New Challenges#links#links#links#links

The Bitter and The Sweet

2010-05-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

When our service member is home and life is happy, it is easy enjoy the military life.
But when duty calls, many decide this isn't the life for them anyone.
Mama didn't tell me their would be days like this....
Whether it is traning exercises or real world deployment or worse, now into it's seventh year, back to back deploymnents in a warzone, so many complain by letter, e-mail and phone that the service doen't even want to call home, knowing what waits them.
Parnets complain about missed birthday and angry that they shall miss their sister's wedding.
Wives fear being a young widow and raising children alone, while husbands fear their wives will fall in love with one of the guys she works with.
There are often outburst of anger when one hasn't had a phone call in days or weeks and the service member may stop calling all together. Ultmatumn often issued: it's the service or me.
As the mum of a sailor, I have indeed done my share of prayer-worrying. Sad that I missed a birthday, but send a huge carepackage. I still light a candle for him.
As the wife of a soldier, I also know the frustations of no e-mail or weeks of no contact. But I don't get angry. I am aware that computers and phones go down or if there was a death in the unit, a news blackout until the family can be contacted. When my phone rings, I am just so happy to hear his voice. I am thrilled to get a e-mail and the little surprises like a new tunic from where he is, always makes my day.
It is bittersweet to marry into the military.
It is a hard life when your beloved is away. But that person is still your beloved.
No one can warn or really prepare you for this life. There are now books on the subject and the military is doing a better job at preparing families, but it is still like learning to swin: you can't just read about it. You still have to get into the water.
The military doesn't destroy marriages; it does shine a light in it. It can make your marriage stronger, or you can allow it to make it weaker.
Notice I said ALLOW.
Marriage takes two people. And like any marriage, a military is as strong and weak, as loving as the couple.
No, I shall never say it is easy for my Mark to be so far away from me. To not feel his warmth in our bed or feel his arms around me when I am cooking.
But I love the man and I know he loves me. We are committed to the G-d we both love, each other and OUR job.
The military.

House Work

2010-05-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, many women hate it. I can't say love cleaning.
And yet I can't say I hate it too.
Because when I think of the love that went into creating this apartment, the feel we wanted, the love that is shared in this home, how can I hate to clean it?
I think of the meals we have shared with family as well as friends. The laugher that has filled the air. When I think how Mark and I took our time (well, Mark was patient with me) to find just the right apartment. How we together picked out the Dinningroom set and Mark's excitement when he found just the right livingroom suite. And it was; we just had to change the colour.

It is the place after a year's deployment, my beloved comes back to, rest his head and be with the woman he loves.
And G-d willing, one day, the laugher of children shall fill our home.
So, off to cleaning my lovely home I go.
Maybe I shall even recieve a call today.

The Thin Line

2010-04-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

There are times it is very hard to figure out when one has crossed the line from sharing one's pain and longing and whining. To know when it is ok to stay in bed for the day or to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. When letting the housework slide is ok and when you need to really pull yourself together.
To know when to be strong and when it is ok to admit your not.
When do we allow friend to cry on our shoulder because their missing thier beloved who still has six months to go on their deployment and when do we grab them by the shoulders and tell them to "Man Up! Your spouse needs YOU to be strong!"
Not having children (yet) I don't have the blessing of little people to take care of. And since I am a homemaker, I keep the Tent of the Reel Tribe in running order.
For me, I allow one day of depression, of sleeping in, of crying and maybe a bowl (small) of ice cream.
But then there is the next day....
"Mrs R! Look at YOU!!!! Get in that shower! Braid your hair! Put on rose body oil, the scent your man likes. Put on your sweats and go out for that morning walk! MOVE IT!"
There are times the tears fall and I let them.
Others, i go and wash my face and smile into my reflection in the mirror, remembering that there is someone half way around the world that loves this face. And I need to take care of me and our home for him. Just as he is taking care of himself to come back to me.
I look at that reflection and remind myself that I am a woman, not a child. That I don't whine, but shine.
And that only big girls get to wear Hot Pink Panties.
So deal with it.

It's a Reel Thing: Anesthesia, Oxygen and Other Stuff#links#links#links#links

2010-04-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: Anesthesia, Oxygen and Other Stuff#links#links#links#links

Think I'll go back to bed.....

The Birthday Gift

2010-04-20T16:55:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
As my readers know, Mark's birthday was last week.
And he informed me that I, his loving wife, brought him a beautiful silk rug for his birthday.
Aren't I the thoughtful wife :)

This called The Four Seasons, because it changes colours when you turn it in different directions. And I know it is going to look great in our bedroom.
Today I packed a carepackage for my beloved. Filled with dried fruits, a few cans of kippers (Mark loves kippers in his salad) a four can pack of Del Monte Mandarin Oranges (he loves mandarin oranges with cottage cheese) and Empire's Truffles from Isreal. I send those to Mark in his Passover Carepackage and they were such a hit I brought him another box. Since there is Volanico ash causes flights to be rerouted, instead of baking cookies and taking the change of they arriving to Mark fresh, I found Mrs. Fileds oatmeal raisin with walnuts cookies. They are nice and big as well as soft and chewy..
And of course a few letters. Mark says he likes getting letters from home. Something he can read over and over again.
He recieved some cards from home yesterday. But still not my cards.
But Mark reminds me not be upset: they will come.

How To Survive an Deployment

2010-04-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2621471&l=6363489703&id=774981951

Shalom:
The above is a project I did several months ago, mainly for my sanity. But I also knew a few women who were about to walk under the formation of sword arches and recieve that smack on the bump with the words: "welcome into the army Mrs..."
Which is one of the reasons I didn't want a military wedding.
While my answers may not be for everyone, they are what keeps me going. It is what keeps me connected with my husband, keeps the love alive and the flames going.
Being a military spouse isn't easy and it isn't for the faint of heart. But I wouldn't trade my life with anyone. For I am married to the greatest guy in the world, my bestfriend, a man who loves me dearly, and I him. As a army wife, I am part of something bigger than myself, somehting that makes a difference in the world as well as my nation.
And how people can really say that?

Pictures from Passover In Afghanistan

2010-04-18T12:19:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2041108&id=1039283404&l=afca76781b

These pictures are from The Seder Mark and his unit had a few weeks ago. Due to a rainstorm, the flight to where are the hebrew soliders were meeting for Passover was canceled. So Mark and the other quickly came up with their own celebration.
Go Army!

Catching Up

2010-04-18T12:09:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
Well it has been an interesting two weeks.
I survived my first Passover without Mark.
I have kept Passover before we even met years ago; it just isn't the same.
Last week was Mark's birthday and the unit gave him a card and a small celebration. We shall save that for when he gets home.
And then during the Feast of Unlenaven Bread, I began to experence heartburn. So bad I thought I was having heart problems. My doctor said my heart was fine. But he was concern about the bloating of my feet and tummy.
Turns out my hitial herina is misplaced and I need to go in for a Endoscopy series.
Tomorrow afternoon.
There goes my morning cup of coffee.
So, once I started feeling better, I started picking up the apartment, getting things back into order.
I have to be honest: as much as housework isn't my favorite thing to do, it does keep me busy and stops my mind from coming up with strange thoughts and imagines.
So, this afternoon, I continue working on a baby afghan for a friend. And then perparing for tomorrow.
I did have the joy of speaking to my beloved this morning before he went to bed.
Always a nice way to start the day; knowing he is ok.
I just wish he was home right now.
It's a bummer being sick and your man isn't about.

It's a Reel Thing: Happy Birthday, Beloved#links#links#links#links

2010-04-18T09:06:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: Happy Birthday, Beloved#links#links#links#links
Mark's birthday and how I coped.

It's a Reel Thing: Who Says G-d Doesn't Have a Sense of Humour?#links#links#links#links

2010-03-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: Who Says G-d Doesn't Have a Sense of Humour?#links#links#links#links

Well, I have survived our first Passover apart. (See the above link)
Now to Mark's Story.
It seems that he had the same pouring rain we had here in Virginia. So their flight out was canceled.
This means the five hebrews of the unit had to run about like mice to gather the things they would need to celebrate Passover.
LOL, sounds a lot like was happening in my house.
But they got it together. One soldier had the finger puppets send by her parnets to ask the Four Questions. Mark drew out a Fred Flintstone looking bone as the shank bone. Their Seder plate was a paper plate with dividers.
And someone's family tradition was actually to Sing "Go Down Moses!" An old negro spiritual.
We decided to add that to our Seder next year.

Mark's Quilt.

2010-03-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

I had planned on going to bed early. I didn't sleep well last night.
But I thought that maybe tonight I would work on Mark's quilt. It might help me relax.
I have exactly been working on it since just before we were engaged. The first thing was the pattern, which was easy. I wore at the time (it has since broke) a Star of David that had in each of the triangles a symbol of each of the 12 tribes. Well, we have since changed it a little. It will now be twelve Stars of David with the symbol of each trible.
Next was finding just the right fabic. That took a few years, but finally I found several pieces that had hebric patterns.
This is one of the Star of David panels.

So now, I have nine stars finished. Once the other three are done, I have a starry night backgound that the twelve stars will be sewn onto.
As I work on Mark's quilt, I think of my beloved, of so many loving memories we have made. I pray for his and his unit, for our troops and all who serve this nation in the miliarty. I imagine what Mark's face will look like when he sees it finished. I imagine what it will look like on our bed.
I imagine, G-d willing, one day our children laying this quilt, tugged under Mark's arms as he reads or tells them a story.
I pray G-d will bless us with children indeed.
I pray my beloved returns home.

It's a Reel Thing: Passover Care Package.

2010-03-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: Passover Care Package.

More Pictures From the Beach

2010-03-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

While both of us did end up getting quite sick towards the end of Mark's R&R, we still had a wonderful time. I thinl our time at the beach was the best. For we were able to just relax and focus on each other.

The First Rain of Spring

2010-03-22T11:13:00.000-07:00

I am actaully enjoying this day.
It is the first rainy day of Spring and I have a jug outside, catching the rainwater for my plants.
It is also a good day for a good cup of coffee, cleaning and other stuff.
The BathRoom has recieved a good washing down and now ready for Passover. The windows in the bedroom are open, letting in fresh air.
The next few days will be devoted to the little Shul. Mark's desk is back in order, but then there is my. And of course the dusting and fresh candles for the Menorah. Because is it made out of iron, it is the only menorah that doesn't need cleaning and polishing.
I was telling a friend a few days ago this holy work actually keeps the depression at bay. Yes, at night, as I prepare for bed the sadness comes because my beloved isn' here. But during the day, preparing our home for the High Holy Days, thought and giggles of Passovers past and playing of music keeps the clouds outside where they belong.

Last week I made Pumpkin Spice cookies for my upstairs neighors. Tonight, it will be chocolate chip. I found Peanut Butter cookie mix in the Cupboard, so I have to make those and get them out of the house as well. We have new downstairs neighors. I wonder if they like Peanut butter cookies?

Sweet Surprise

2010-03-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

This morning, alittle after 11 am, the phone rang.
It was my beloved.
Oh how good was to hear his voice.
But then again I say that all the time, don't I?
It was 8pm and after a long day, he was preparing for bed, but wanted to hear my voice before he went to sleep.
I know the feeling: Mark often calls as I am preparing for bed and I always sleep better when I had spoken to him.
The unit had two Challah makers (the egg rich bread we enjoy on Shabbat) one has since gone home. So Mark is helping out, since he use to help me at home every once in a while with the baking.
He said the one they made for this Shabbat came out rather large, light and fluffy, making three loaves. Right now they are using paper cups, guessing at the measurements. So I will be including plastic measuring cups in the next Carepackage. This way, whoever makes Challah will have the right tools to use.
I just think it is cool to celebrate Shabbat in Afghanistan.
Mark has left me pictures and permission to post them.
It is now in Afghanistan and Mark says the weather is rather nice.
But I forgot to ask how his little garden was coming along.
We are both now preparing for Pesach (Passover) Me cleaning the apartment, removing the leaven, Mark doing the same in his quaters. The Hebrews in his unit will gather together at the place the rabbi is now preparing to keep the Passover.
I believe that the Holy One is going to meet both of us in a very special way this Passover. Though a half a world apart, our love, our faith and even the celebrating the High Holy Days keep us closer and nearer than if we were in the same room.
It is a beautiful Spring day.
Too nice to be inside.
Time for a walk.

It's a Reel Thing: A Day of Rest and Peace#links#links#links#links

2010-03-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: A Day of Rest and Peace#links#links#links#links

One of the beautiful times in our lives is Shabbat. For Mark and I it isn't just a nice idea, but a way of life. While deployed, Mark does have Saturday morining off (for the most part) for prayer and study. I try to keep up our traditions as best I can, but it is the day I miss him the most.

It's a Reel Thing: Depression#links#links#links#links

2010-03-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

It's a Reel Thing: Depression#links#links#links#links

Depression is a real battle each of one us 'left behind" go through with our beloved deployed.
The key I found is not to fight it, but realize that I am depressed, allow myself to feel the anger, the fear, release the tears and either through prayer and/or speaking to someone, I can get a handle on my emotions.
Having a hobby, a work-out plan, a good diet, doing a good deed for someone else and getting together with a good friend goes a long way in helping lifting the Deployment Funk

Pumkin Spice Cookies

2010-03-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

So I began my Spring/Passover cleaning by making Pumkin Spice cookies and giving them to my upstairs neighors. These folks are great; often stop by to see if I need anything, take out my trash, gone to the store for juice when I was sick. Knowing Mark is deployed, they keep an eye out for me.
I am alittle sad, since I would have loved to have made these for Mark. But his next CarePackage has to be kosher for Passover and these cookies would have been a no-no. But I did see some nice treats, so tomorrow when I go shopping for Shabbat, I shall pick up some things to send him.
It has been a few nights since I'd spoken to Mark. I am hoping he calls tonight.
I have good news: my health is much improved. Sarah and Paul had their baby, a beautiful little girl.
*******

As I began this entry, Mark called. It is so good to hear my beloved's voice. He had a lot of work to catch up on since his return from leave. So this was his first chance to call.
Ww spoke for awhile, giving and recieving updates and now he is on his way to the Gym before beginning his day.
As my begins to wind down.
So, having spoken to my beloved, I am going to take a warm shower, dress for bed and read some before sleep.
Thank G-d for watching over my beloved.

A Good Visit

2010-03-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

The doctor's visit went well. I'd been taken off two medications and hopefully will be taken off the rest after my visit in May.
It has been since I'd spoken to Mark, so I will have good for him. I know he will be relieved.
Now it is time to start preparing for Passover.
I think I'm more excited about Mark celebrating Passover in Afghanistan than I am here. And the rabbi has agreed to Mark taking pictures of the celebration.
As much as I missed my guy, it is during these times I miss him the most. Mark loves to partake in the preparations, our sharing the Sedar table with friends and family. The memories we already share and the stories that are already part of the Sedar itself.
Our faith is a commuion faith. Yes, individual relationship with G-d is important. Prayer, worship, those special time are so sweet.
But as Hebrews, we are also part of a community. We stand before G-d as one on one as as One. As a whole. The High Holy Days draws the nation of Israel together to be with her G-d.
I just wish I could hold my beloved's hand as we do so.

In the Light of the Sun

2010-03-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

As I prepare for my doctor's visit, I realize how bright the sun is today.
Spring is on her indeed.
And with her coming is preparing for Passover.
It is bittersweet since it has been years since I'd been alone for Passover. Mark and I have hosted at least one Sedar each Passover the past four years and this year with him in Afghanistan and we no longer attend Beth Messiah, it is going to be different indeed.
Given that asthma is often triggered by stress, I chose not to think about it right now.
Right now, I need to prepare to see my doctor and take it from there.

Recovering

2010-03-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

It has been a few weeks since I was last here.
Mark was home.
He brought home a virus.
And after several wonderful days at the beach, we both ended up in the E.R
He with an inner ear infection.
Me a full blown asthma attack that those several hours to get under control.
So, now Mark's infection has cleared up and he is back in Afghanistan.
And I am recovering.
Honestly, I am doing so much better than I was last week.
Tomorrow I have see my doctor and I believe she shall be pleased with how things are coming along.
My laptop is back home and right now the systmen is downloading all the backup files. Mark gave me some new pictures to share and once my laptop is ready, I will add them.

Today was a beautiful day. Bright, sunny and warm. I even got out and did some walking. Yes, there was some wheezing as I came home, but that's fine. I was able to walk a full hour hour before it began and that is a huge improvement since last week.
I am thankful for my recovery. Not just that I enjoy being sick. But Mark doesn't need to be worried about how I am doing. He needs to know I am healthy and happy. Well, as happy as woman could be with her man half way around the world.

A Note From My Soldier

2010-02-25T07:18:00.000-08:00

I figure I need to write this note so that those who have been praying for me, would have a better idea of what it is like in a war zone.

I live on a very large Forward Operating Base called FOB SHANK. Currently, I work in an office as a Program Manager for projects that are paid for using Commander's Emergency Relief Program (CERP) funds.
I also work with the Brigade S9, the staff officer that counsels the Commander on Civil-military operations, helping him to craft guidance for units so that they can more effectively consider civilian effects when they conduct their operations. If you have read the book, "Three Cups of Tea," my job is like the author's, except I carry a weapon.
The days are often very long as I work from 0900 to 2100, 2200 hours daily. The hardest thing for me is the separation from my wife and the grueling days. Often I try and get out and exercise, but often I get so busy, I forget. I try and celebrate Shabbat, but usually that means going to Friday night services and maybe taking some time off on Saturady. Other than that, I am constantly working, working, working.
I hope this gives you a better idea of what my days are like. I always pray that what I am doing is ultimately going to help improve the life of the average Afghan civilian. Thank you for your prayers. Please continue praying for me, my unit (173d Airborne and 405th CA), and the Afghan people.
Mark

Love From Afghanistan

2010-02-21T15:56:00.000-08:00

Beanie Baby Poker

2010-02-21T13:32:00.000-08:00

When your deployed, you need to have some fun on your down time.

Such as....Beanie Baby Poker.

Rabbi Abraham, the rabbi bear overseeing the game...

I see your blue butterfly and raise you two....

Finished

2010-02-20T23:57:00.000-08:00

In my last entry, I wrote about creating a space, a quiet place for myself.
Well, it is finished.
I took a small section of out MiddleEastern room and made my quiet quaters.

It includes a small table with a bit of lace, my Queen's glass, my journal and a copy of the scriptures. I added my small Victoria collection, pieces I have found over the years and gifts given to me by my beloved.

It is indeed the quietest spot in the house and it faces the wndow where, each night I light a candle, awaiting the return of my beloved.

Peace

2010-02-18T14:25:00.000-08:00

God can’t give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing."— C.S. Lewis

As I go about my days, some things are routine; shower, brushing teeth, cleaning of a room, working on the blog and some project. Others are those things I add for fun, education, Torah learning or to relax.
One of my projects is finishing up my quiet place. The spot I am creating just for that moment in the day I 'enough' and go away.
To pray. To read. To talk to HaShem.
Or just do nothing at all.
A Peaceful place.
It faces the window where I light a candle each night until my beloved comes home.
A peaceful place. There I like to place the Scriptures Mark gave me as a birthday gift one year. To meet with HaShem.
For it is in G-d that I as a woman, as a military wife, find my true peace.
In those stormy times when I'm not sure where my beloved is, or how he is doing, I go to HaShem. For Mark is in His Hands.
And knowing that, I find peace.
And joy.
In this place, I journal, writing all the funny things Mark has said over the phone. And when I feel low, read those words. Or read the cards and letters he has send me.
People will fail us, will let us down.
But G-d never fails.
And that is the place my soldier and I find our peace.

It's a Reel Thing: CarePackages and Other Stuff#links#links#links#links

2010-02-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

It's a Reel Thing: CarePackages and Other Stuff#links#links#links#links

Mark recieved his Valentine Cards and the CarePackage send from Montana.....

Happy Valentine's Day, Beloved.

2010-02-15T14:22:00.001-08:00

Priceless

2010-02-11T14:15:00.000-08:00

How Many Deployments = 4

Each Deployment=12

12 Months without my sweetie makes having him home with me, absolutely priceless.

Words often fail me as I write out my feelings, my thoughts. Sometimes they feel like the puzzle box I kicked over, sending the various coloured pieces of cardboard across the floor and spending hours finding them all.
Sometimes I think I'm doing ok: going through thr day with housework or working on a given project.
Other times, I don't even wish to get out of the bed. Why clean? There is no one here to clean for.
Why cook? There is no one here to cook for.
And then the phone rings and it is the voice of my beloved.
He tells me of how his day is going; often working on some project to make the lives of the people of Afghanistan better, either through building of schools, clinices, wells, etc. The villiages he visits, about the children he sees.
And then he ask me about my day. How is the quilt, tapestry, baby afghan coming. Have I found any new recipes to try on him when he gets home?
And then comes the words of love, of how much he misses me, how he is looking forward to coming home and being with me. Playing with my briads, stroking my cheek. He also sings me those silly little songs he made up just for me that always makes me giggle.
His voice fills the room and I can, for a brief time, feel his presence.
Those few moments, 30 to 60 minutes in lenght are gold.
Priceless.
I hang up the phone, knowing I keep the house for his homecoming. I cook so that I can serve his favorite meals when he's back at our table. I get up and keep going, because my beloved needs me to be well, to be strong for his sake as well as my.
I can see him looking at the phone, wiping away a few tears and then heading off for the job of the day, knowing his beloved is home, waiting for him.

Ahavah

2010-02-10T19:08:00.000-08:00

When two people sincerely love one another, the Holy One reigns between them. This is alluded to by the Hebrew word for love (i.e., ahavah, אהבה), the gematria of which is thirteen, but when shared with another it is multiplied: 13 x 2 = 26 - the same value for the Name of the LORD (יהוה).

Army Wive's Prayer

2010-02-10T18:46:00.000-08:00

Army wives prayer Dear Lord,

Give me the greatness of heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me. Give me understanding that I may know, when duty calls him he must go.

Give me a task to do each day, to fill the time when he's away. And Lord, when he's in a foreign land, keep him safe in your loving hand. And Lord, when duty is in the field, please protect him and be his shield. And Lord, when deployment is so long, please stay with me and keep me strong. Amen.

Before Dawn's Early Light

2010-02-10T04:07:00.000-08:00

It's almost 7am.
I awike at 6am.
It's 3pm in Afghanistan.
My thoughts are on my beloved. What he's doing, how his many projects are coming along. Is he eating well? Is he sleeping?
It's been a few days since we last spoke and that was to tell him of the death of someone we knew.
Bill's funeral is today and my thoughts are with the family, with his widow Val.
Maybe that is why I'm up so early. Knowing another woman is laying her beloved to rest gives me pause. It makes me what to hold my husband tigher, tell him over and over again how much i love him. To take back thought times we exchanged angry words and replace them with how proud I am of him, what joy he brings to my life. How honoured I am to be his wife. To hear him call me his beloved.
My prayers are with Val this morning; that G-d will indeed comfort her with His comfort.
And for my beloved to return home safe.

Home Again

2010-02-09T13:51:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful three weeks with my Montana family.
So much fun that I gained five pounds :)
So as I readjust to life here back home, it means stepping up my workout.
Of course I ate differently in Montana than I did at home.
But my doctor has no complains: she says my blood pressure is great and everyone gains alittle weigh during the winter months. The most important thing; the stress is off my face.
So I have been unpacking, putting away things, getting laundry together and picking up the house.
Today, I actually watched one of my favorite movies, The Chosen and finished an baby afghan. I should get it off in the mail in a few days.

Of course being home, I am also feeling how truly lonely I am. How much I really miss my big guy. To come home and find him not here, but still in Afghanistan.
He will be home this Spring.
Everyone tells me that Spring shall be here before I know it.
But right now, it feels like it is dragging its heeds.

One Of Those Nights

2010-01-26T23:05:00.000-08:00

The house is quiet; people, dogs and wolves are asleep.
Except me.
It is one of those nights I miss my beloved. I spoke to him earlier in the evening. But it doesn't take away the ach in my heart.
Tonight I heard the lonliness in Mark's voice. I hear it all the time. Tonight it went through me like the Montana cold..
Mark said how he longs to be held in my arms again. How I long to be in his.
They say the time shall fly by. But right now, it seens to be dragging its foot, teasing us with this what seens to be an endless wait.
But one day, the waiting will be over.
And I shall hold my hero, my beloved in my arms again.

Still Snowing

2010-01-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

It started snowing once again here in Montana.
It is both beautiful and cold.
Wonderful day for working on the laptop and Mark's quilt.
Uncle Jim downloaded a copy of the Tanank onto my laptop, both english and hebrew, a great help as I learn hebrew and study Torah.
I miss Mark, but the pain is eased by being around family, of sharing Mark stories and knowing they are here for me, to listen, to make me laugh.
Working on Mark's quilt has helped me center, to find that peaceful place where my forcus isn't on the dangers my beloved could be facing, but on the project before me, picturing the expression upon Mark's face when he sees it for the first time, what it will look like on our bed.
And one day, G-d willing, our children snuggled under its warmth.

Preparing to go Home

2010-01-25T07:37:00.000-08:00

I am still enjoying my time here in Montana.
Sunday, I return home.
I will be working o Mark's quilt until Thrusday and then will mail it home with a few other things.
I picked up some things here in Montana and will send them in a Carepackage along with letters from the family.
I know that he will love to get a package from Montana; the first several years of his life was spead here.
We are making plans to come and visit this this Spring and then visit my sister and her family in Bostan.
Each time I speak to Mark now, he mentions how much he is looking forward to coming home, to our being together, even if it is only a few weeks.
Already, I am working on ideas for a homecoming. Since he returns the week after Valentine's Day, I am planning to decorate the home with that theme, including red rose petals.
So we are both looking forward to going home; me to prepae for my beloved.
Mark returning to me.

Loving Montana

2010-01-24T16:04:00.000-08:00

I'd been here for two weeks and even with the snow, I love it here.
There is such peace and quiet and my mind is finally at rest. Yes, I still have concerns about my beloved, but I am sleeping nights, working on Mark's quilt and enjoying my family.
I am finishing a book I brought with me and reading one Uncle Jim loan me. It is so thick, I shall never get through it before I leave, so I'll have to order it online.
Mark has moved to his new duty station and as he is very busy, he speak to him very few days. But I am just happy tp speak to him.

We just hit the six month point of Mark's deployment. We now have about five and a half months to go.
So now I am doing a court down to when my hero comes home.

Depression+risk+higher+for+spouses+of+deployed

2010-01-19T16:13:00.000-08:00

Depression+risk+higher+for+spouses+of+deployed

Snow

2010-01-17T11:19:00.000-08:00

Any one who knows me, knows I hate snow.
Having been born in New York and raised in Boston, I have had to travel in this wet, white stuff through school and then work.
Snow ball fights; ten minutes. Snowman; ten minutes. That's it.
And yet, even as a child I knew that snow was also clean and fresh, cleaning the air and its surroundings. It is a new, fresh beginning. For the people of Afghanistan, the snow is a fresh supple of water that the villagers need.
As I sit here, working on this blog, I look outside at snown covered mountains. Such a peaceful scene. I love to put on my jacket and watch the wolves play in the snow. Or take in the peaceful sight before me. At times it feels as if the snow itself is washing away the depression, giving me a fresh view on life.
I'd been in Montana a week.
My body feels lighter, my head clearer. My spirit renewed.
It is also a joy to be with family. We can laugh and talk, share stories about Mark , and with little sister Jay, get into alittle bit of trouble.
I see a snowball fight in my future.

Montana

2010-01-15T10:31:00.000-08:00

For the past week, I have been in Montana.
And while there is snow as far as the eye can see, I am looking it.
I am staying with Mark's Aunt and Uncle who have opened their home and their hearts to me.
I arrived Sunday evening, after a day of traveling. I might have enjoyed the trip if trying to get to one's connected flight wasn't like Track and Field.
The West is so beautiful and where we are, so peaceful, so quiet. Uncle Jim's and Aunt Michael's home is builded into the mountain side. The house is heated by wood heat and it is nice and toasty.
Here I have been able to sleep, to still the insane thoughts that often attack me. I also don't have to hear "we support our troops"
It is done.
Here people don't just 'pray' (while needed) but hug and and pat you on the back, offer to buy you a cup of Starbucks and that YOU for standing behind your husband as he does his job.
Where I have no fear of voicing my concerns, yes my fears and no worries of being judged.
It is here, in these quiet mountians I have found the peace my soul longed for.
Yes, I miss my Starbucks buddy, but now I laugh daily.
And when I return home in three weeks time, I shall be able to cope better with the months that laid before me.
This trip has taught me the real need of the spouse taking care of him/herself while their mate is deployed. We are so busy keeping the homefires going, keeping all of the balls in the air, we forget that there is a spouse in Iraq or Afghanistan that needs us healthly. They need to know we are ok.
But we must do it for ourselves as well.
That is truly ok to take a trip to the Spa, the beach, visit a national site. Just allow the body to breath new air and the soul renew itself.
Each of us needs to find that place of retreat.
Right now, Montana is my.

The Legs are the First to Go

2009-11-08T15:02:00.000-08:00

I was speaking to my mum this afternoon, sharing with her about a new book I'd started reading, entitled, 'I Love a Man in Umiform.' It is this woman's story as an army wife.
I love Lily. Her book is fresh and honest and real. I can relate to so much of Lily's story. Her marriage to her soldier began around the same time Mark and I were growing from friendship to courtship. Like ours, the War on Terror as been a part of their lives, their marriage.
I was sharing with my mum that one of the disadvanges of not having children (it hasn't been from a lack of trying) is that I don't have little people that give me a reason to get up in the morning, to shower, dress and eat well. Little people to help with homeworl and pick up after.
Who have their daddy's eyes and I can at night.
But then I have to remember that I am Somebody, that I have to get up, pray, shower, dress, workout and eat for me. I have to take care of me for my beloved and for myself.
"But you know mummie, the first thing to go is the legs. Women stop shaving their legs when their men are deployed. After all, the one who really cares isn't here to notice."
She roared with laugher.
"I never thought about it," Mummie said after she stopped coughing.
It is true. We stop shaving legs, binki lines, etc. Sometimes it is so bad we don't get hair and nails done. You know, those lovely things we do to feel like girls.
Funny, it was Mark who broke that habit.
When he calls he ask what I am waering, is my hair braided or free from the retricting plaits? "How long is it now?"
What I wearing; my black yoga pants and t-shirt, his old army sweats as PJ's, his favorite pair of jeans.?
Am I using his favorite scented lotion that reminds him of Morcoccan nights?
I realize this was the reason I needed to take care of me.
It gives my soldier one less thing to worry about.

Your Son, Your Friends, Your Husband, The Killers

2009-11-08T05:06:00.000-08:00

This is a follow up from yesterday's entry.
You know your an army wife when: your husband comes home with a army t-shirt....for you.
We had been married several months and it was his first drill weekend. Because the unit was so close, he could come home Saturday evening and return to Base the next morning.
That Sunday, Mark handed a black t-shirt. Not one of his old PT's, but a brand new tee from the Base.
It said on the back in big, bold yellow letters: Freedom is Not Free.
Four and a half years later, I still wear it with pride.
I remember the evening well; the War on Terror had just begun. My beloved son was serving on the U.S.S Abe Linclon. He was on ship when the first shots were fired off.
He came home the same week Mr.Bush made his appearance on the Abe.
That night I was part of an online discussion about the War, when I recived an e-mail. The person was unknown. But that evening I had been recieving e-mail thanking me for raising an amercian hero, asking me to thank him for his service, G-d bless him and our family, etc.
It was this e-mail that knocked back on my heels.
Someone send me pictures of what the bombs off the Lincolen had done; pictures of dead and dying Iraqi men, women and children, people with limbs blown off and blinded.
"Look at what your son has done. Are you still proud?"
"Look at what your best friend is doing. Are you still proud?"
It took several minutes to regroup and then I wrote the person back the following: "and what about Sdaam? He did this and far worse to his own people. Do you have a better way of dealing with Sadaam? With those who are out to not only destroy this nation, but all other nations because they don't like our "Westeran Way of Life? If you have a better way of handling this, why don't you write Mr.Bush. I am sure he would be open to the idea of not losing any mairnes,soldiers, saildors or airmen."
We deal with enough with our loved ones in harm's way.
We don't need to make ourselves targets as well.

It's a Reel Thing: Captain's Visit

2009-11-07T20:20:00.000-08:00

It's a Reel Thing: Captain's Visit
The latest from Mark.

Love From.....?

2009-11-07T19:33:00.000-08:00

One of the questions that often comes up amoung military families, both actived and retired, is how much Military proud should we show?
No doult you have seen them; you might even be one...
The proud Vet who's car and/or van is covered in Military bummer stickers, plates, sayings, flags, ribbons. Once while shopping at the NEX (Navy ExChange) I spotted a bummer sticker that read; 'Sexually Deprived for Your Freedom.'
Ani't the truth. Yes, I know, for some that was WAAAAY TOO MUCH IMFORATION.
But let's get real (Reel); there is a LOT we military spouses sacrific.
Then there are the Oneses the wee ones wear; "My daddy's/ mommy's in Iraq (Aghanistan).
There are sites that sell decals and stickers declaring "Proud Navy Wife" "Proud Marine Dad" "I (heart) My Soldier,etc, This includes ball caps, jewelery,key chains, teddy bears. My favorite "Half my heart is in Iraq or Afghanistan.' The yellow ribs in our hair, on our doors, on the car window.
The debate? If any or all of the above is a loving tribute, a means of support or if the above makes us stalker's bait. Or worse; the target's of those who oppose the War. While such attacks are rare, it does happen. More than likely, what happens is ugly comments about our deployed loved ones or trying to draw us into an arugement about the War, our policies, etc.
The question is; how much attention do we really wish to call to ourselves?
That is when wisdom muct come in.
Not don't get me worse, I have a t-shirt with the logo of Mark's unit that I wear, along with a hat from his last deployment. I do have several army themed t-shirts as well as my Spouse's buttom.
But I also believe that we must be as "innocent as Doves and as wise as Serpents." While we can't walk about sharing everything about our lives (that isn't wise whether your military family or no) nor should we live in fear and jump at every shadow.
Each family must decide what is bested for them, where to draw those lines. And thanks in part to Family Readiness Groups (F.R.G) we have been guideslines that are wise and balance as well as fun.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of our heroes; we just need to be wise about it.

Chili Without Beans

2009-11-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

One of the few nice things about Mark being deployed is that I can enjoy my Chili. Without beans.
I am not a big kidney bean (red bean) lover and frankly I like my Chili without beans. I pour over corn chips (for the crunch) and a nice tall cold Coke.
And then there is Corn Bread Chili.
When the Chili is half cooked, you spoon small portions of Corn Bread mixture (my is homemade. Jiffy isn't kosher) on top of the still cooking Chili and it cooks the Corn Bread, giving it a nice topping.
And because I use Kosher ground beef and turkey, no cheese.
Mark loves beans in his Chili.
In fact, he prefers 18 bean Chili.
Just have to make sure the beans are fresh. Nothing worse than Chili and stale beans.
Of course there is meatless Chili, just the beans.
Yuck!
Now don't get me wrong, I would make a huge pot of Chili brimming with beans right now if it brought my beloved tomorrow.
But since he isn't here, I shall before the Telly, NOT watching the election results (as an American that is my right) and enjoy my very meaty Chili.
Keep your head down, beloved.

Lovely Comments

2009-11-01T17:21:00.000-08:00

I would like to take a moment to thank those who have left such lovley comments. They mean so much to Mark and I.
I know we have many readers, most don't leave a comment. And that is cool.
But to be honest, the feedback does help.
And though Mark cannot read them from where he is posted, I do read him what people have written. It encourages us both.
Being a military wife isn't an easy thing, nor is it for everyone.
But to be honest, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.
First off, I ahve the love of a good, g-dly man. A rare thing these days. A faithful man who loves me, his family and friends, his country.
Being an army wife, I am part of something bigger than myself. By standing beside my husband, keeping the home fires going and yes, now with Operation School Supplies and Holiday Package, I have a small part of my husband's mission. He sees to the school being builded: I send supplies that the children need.
It is hard. The nights cold and lonely.
But for the freedoms we enjoy, it is worth it.
In my own way, I too serve our nation. And that is an honour no one can ever pay me for.
Well, give our servicemen and women the respect and honour their due.
That's payment enough.
Under the Afghanistan starry sky, my beloved sleeps.
Sleep well, Beloved.

Life Happens While You Wait

2009-10-31T20:28:00.000-07:00

I just finished speaking to Mark.
It was a brief call; he was on his way to the Range.
He's going out into the field in a few days. So there will be a few weeks that I won't recieve phone calls or e-mail.
Yesterday, Mark met with the son of a Village elder. The local school needs a new wall. So Mark will secure what is needed to get the job done.

Here, parnets have the chose of Public School, Private School or Home School. In some homes it is a battle to get the child to understand the imporatnce of getting and having an education.
In Afghanistan, the children are thankful to have a school. They thank allah for the kind Amercians that send notebooks, pencils and crayons.
It is now cold in Afghanistan and like many military wives, I will include a set of Flannal bedclothes for added warmth in the box that I will mail later in the week. I will rub some of my personal body oil, the scent of roses, jasmine and myrrh that Mark loves. He shall lay on those sheets and smile; inhaling my scent.
We military wives do a lot of waiting.
We wait for letters, both snail-mail and e-mail.
We wait for the phone to ring.
We wait for that message that imforms when the plane is due, what gate to meet our beloved at.
And while we wait, we pray for their safely, for the people of Iraq, of Afghanistan.
We pray for our President, that G-d will guide him to make wise descisions for the good of the nation he services.
We take care of our homes, families, work outside the home and/ devople hobbies. We bake, crochet and take up kick boxing.
We laugh, we cry, we blog.
While we wait.
It is time for me to turn off the lights, save the one I read Scripture by, say my prayers and then sleep.
I have alreay spoken to my beloved.
Tomorrow begins a new day of waiting.

It is Snowing

2009-10-29T06:41:00.000-07:00

Just after last evening's entry, Mark called.
It is snowing in Afghanistan!
It is the cold season now. And Mark, my Polar Bear loves it. The snow isn't sticking right now, but soon. The winters are brutal in Afganistan. Both on the people of the land and on our armed forces. So later today I am going to the Post Office and pick up the packing kits for deployments. It is one of the bittersweet parts of a loved one gone from your arms, but not your heart.
CarePackages. Boxes filled with love from home.
Homemake cookies.
Hot Chocolate.
Letters, cards and drawings.
Pictures. A lock of hair.
Mark says it is snowing in Afghanistan. As much as I hate snow, right now I wish I was there to share the moment with him.

The Second Report

2009-10-28T18:10:00.000-07:00

Mark's second report.
Not as long.
He has been given the go-ahead and the funds he needs to get started. Now the real work begins.
Having just finished The Kite Runner, I know the need of good, clean water and health care that is needed. It is the most basic of needs.
We who can run water from a tap or drink water from a plastic bottle, looking more like infants in the doing, take for granted that refreshing, life-giving fluid. Not just for the cleaning of body and clothes, but to keep man and beast alive.
I think of how I could catch a cab to the doctor's when I had the flu, go to the drugstore to get the medication needed. And wherer Mark is, there are people who don't have a Clinic to walk to.
I think of the Turkey soup I made this evening. Had some for supper, the rest frozen for several more meals.
The same pot of soup could feed a Afghanistan family that has little or nothing to eat tonight.
Sometimes, I wonder if we really realize how blessed we truly are.

It's a Reel Thing: I'm Already There#links#links#links

2009-10-26T05:08:00.000-07:00

I wrote this last night as well. Somehow felt it fits here as well.
It's a Reel Thing: I'm Already There#links#links#links

Mark's First Report

2009-10-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

For all who are reading this:
First, thank you. I know whether you post or not, you are praying for my Mark. As well as the other men and women of our armed forces.
It is not easy being away from your family, letting your loved one go. None of us wanted this war, and we don't glory in it. It is our military and their ones who pray the hardest for peace; for we know how dear the cost of war really is.
I spoke to Mark last evening. We are so blessed to have this time, though it is 30 minutes. I stay up for that call. He calls just as he day begins.
He is pretty much over the flu and now out in the field.
For those who don't know, Mark is a Civil Affairs officer. His job is not only to serve, defend and protect, but he also works with the locals to rebuild their country. Mark is very much a Nehmiah: he has blueprints in one hand and his weapon in the other. He is the bridge between the local leaders and the army. Mark is part of the 'winning heart's mission of the army. Winning the War, one heart at a time.
From time to time (like last night) I wonder is what we are doing makes a difference. And after speaking to Mark, the answer is still: yes.
Right now, Mark is working with a few of the villiages to get them a fresh water supply. Also, he will be working with a clinic to get it back up and running to meet the locals medical needs.
This is the thing Mark loves doing: for by helping the people learn to depend not on the Taliban or even us, but themselves. This is one of the things that will break the hold of the Taliban.
True, not everyone wants us there or is grateful for all we do. But many are.
Like Greg Mortenson (his story is told in Three Cups of Tea) Mark's mission to promote Peace...one school (he started two schools in Iraq) one football, one Water Well, one Clinic at a time.
So when you take a sip of water, thank G-d for that preious gift. And pray for Mark as he bring fresh water to thristy folk.
The Captain's Lady

The Military Family

2009-10-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

As with any group, there is always a perception of military spouses and families.
Often times we wives are pictured as hot mama who right after seeing their husbands off to sea or overseas, are off at the bars, drinking and looking for someone to keep their bed until hubby returns home. Or, grossly overweigh with five or six children and another on the way. Backward kids who don't know how to make friends or behave because of always moving. Girlfriends hanging onto their guy with the hopes of marrying him and getting all of the military goodies.
Ok.
That might be true of some, but not all.
I once read how stupid military wives are. If they made it to High School it is a miracle, having no job skills, their only worth is baby making.
Hmm...
Husbands who's wives are deployed are finding comfort in the arms of another, leaving the kiddos with grandparnets.
Really?
These are not the families I know.
I know a father, a very loving father who started his own home business to be there home while his wife was out to sea. He knew how to braid his little girl's hair, knew the little boy's favorite stories by heart and every week would sit down as a family to makeup a CarePackage for mum, including letters and cards.
I know wives who use this time to go back to school to learn a new skill or craft. Some start home busniesses that are easy to travel with easy move. Some who decide to offer their time to work in Soup Kitchens, tutor children, visit the elderly in nursing homes.
Children who keep journals for their parnets to read when they return home. Who delight in making CarePackages, writing letters, draw pictures and yes, even school reports about their mum or dad. I still have the letters Mark's nephew wrote him during his first deployment. Each family has its ups and downs and its struggles. But there is a pride that for the most part each has in the serviceperson(s).
Like every family, there is s favor, a colour each family has.
Cookie Cutter we are not.
Butter, Suger, Spice, Chocolate Chip with and without Nuts, we make up a wonderful assortment that is worth partaking of.
Like any other family.

Roses and Roachs: Which?

2009-10-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

It is now early morning in Afganistan.

Mark is getting, saying his morning prayers and getting to call me.

In the meantime, I am about to shower, have a hot drink and settle in for the evening waiting for his call before I say my prayers, read scripture and go to bed.

He hears my voice before he goes to work.

I hear his voice before I go to sleep.

It is part of military life.

Bittersweet.

I have heard it same that the Military has destroyed marriages. I don't believe that is so. Like any career, it is a part of your life and it is the couple that for the most part controls how much powere their career(s) has in their marriage.

Yes, or both can be so driven in their careers that they forget to wom they are truly committed to. This is true of men and women who are doctors, nurses, lawyers, rabbis, pastors, businesspersons, rockstars, etc.

The military, like anything else, shines sunlight into your lives, showing up the cracks, revealing the true nature. Roachs run from the light. Roses look ups.

The question; which are you?

The Military. That is your job, what you do to put bread to the table and shoes on the baby. But isn't your life. Your life is the person you chose as your life mate, the one you believe G-d gave you to have and to hold, honour, cherish and love. Your life is family, friends, faith.

It is true, we cannot control when and where Mark is deployed or for how long.

But either the President of the Untied States or Uncle Sam is the Head of our Home.

G-d is.

And as long as He remains our center, as long as we are commited to each other and our marriage, the love is there and nothing, not even the U.S.Mililary has the power to destroy our marriage.

It just give us more creative ways to grow more and more in love and to keep the passion growing.

And going.

Where My Heart is.

2009-10-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

2009-06-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

Ran with permission from: One Marine's View
The Battle of Midway June 4-7 1942
Posted: 05 Jun 2009 04:11 PM PDT
Hummer Excluded from GM Sale
Posted: 05 Jun 2009 04:12 PM PDT
Army: Military Versions of Hummer Excluded from GM Sale Officials said some people called the Pentagon, Capitol Hill and AM General LLC, the company that makes the military vehicles, asking if the rights to the Humvee had been sold to the Chinese.
The U.S. Army is assuring people that General Motors' deal to sell its Hummer brand to a Chinese company has nothing to do with the military version of the rugged vehicle. Officials said some people called the Pentagon, Capitol Hill and AM General LLC, the company that makes the military vehicles, asking if the rights to the Humvee had been sold to the Chinese. Steve Clawson, spokesman for the South Bend, Ind.-based AM General, said the military and civilian programs are separate. "GM's proposed sale of the civilian Hummer brand would have no impact on the military Humvee program," he said. The Army's news service posted a story to clarify the situation on its Web site Wednesday, a day after news of the sale was announced. "We really wanted to clarify in the minds of our own soldiers as well as the general public what was happening, just so we were clear on the difference," said Lt. Col. Martin Downie, an Army spokesman. Staffers at the House Armed Services Committee contacted the Army after hearing the sale news and were reassured that the military vehicles would not be affected, said Josh Holly, spokesman for the committee. "I think the committee will continue to watch it just in case, but at this point I haven't seen much concern from members on the military side," he said. General Motors Corp. announced Tuesday that it had a tentative agreement to sell the Hummer brand to Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co., a 4-year-old company with just 4,300 employees based in China's mountainous southwest. GM bought the rights to sell Hummers to civilians from AM General in 1999, and GM hired the company to build the H1 model at a plant in Mishawaka, Ind. The hulking, inefficient vehicle, which dwarfed most other vehicles on city streets, was based on the military Humvee. Later, the automaker designed the Hummer H2 civilian vehicle, and AM General continued to build it. A smaller version, the H3, was built by GM at a plant in Shreveport, La. AM General is privately held, owned by private equity firm The Renco Group Inc., and MacAndrews & Forbes Holdings, both of New York. The company, born of Jeep heritage, was once part of American Motors Corp. It began designing the Humvee in 1979, and since then has sold more than 200,000 to the U.S. military and friendly nations, the company said on its Web site. The vehicles became famous in the 1991 Gulf War. Tengzhong, which is keeping production of the Hummer in the United States, will face daunting hurdles in reviving the vehicle, known in Chinese as "Han Ma," or Bold Horse. Soaring gas prices have battered sales of the boxy trucks, which roar along on oversize tires and can weigh up to 5 tons. GM sold 341,000 Hummers to civilians worldwide through 2008, but U.S. sales have dropped dramatically this year. GM sold only 5,113 Hummers through May, down 64 percent from the first five months of last year, according to Autodata Corp. In a chat on GM's Web site Thursday, GM CEO Fritz Henderson was asked how a Chinese company with no experience building personal vehicles was able to buy Hummer, and Henderson wrote that GM had limited interest in the brand. "The potential buyer Sichuan Tengzhong offered the best overall alternative, and we did not have broad portfolio of other buyers," Henderson replied.

The White House Said Little About This

2009-06-07T13:33:00.000-07:00

Police Say Arkansas Shooter Targeted Military
June 01, 2009Associated Press
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - A man with "political and religious motives" killed a soldier just out of basic training and wounded another Monday in a targeted attack on a military recruiting center, police said. The shootings were not believed to be part of a broader scheme.
The soldiers completed basic training within the past two weeks and were not regular recruiters, said Lt. Col. Thomas F. Artis of the Oklahoma City Recruiting Battalion, which oversees the Little Rock office.
William Long, 24, of Conway, died, and Quinton Ezeagwula, 18, of Jacksonville, was wounded and in stable condition, Police Chief Stuart Thomas said.
Both men were from nearby hometowns and volunteered to work at the recruiting center to attract other locals to the military. "They can show the example, 'Here's where I was, and here is where I am,'" Artis said.
Police arrested Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad, 23, along a crosstown interstate moments after the shootings at the Army-Navy Career Center in a shopping center in west Little Rock.
Muhammad acted alone, the police chief said, and based on an interview with officers, the suspect "probably had political and religious motives for the attack." He lived in an apartment just 1.5 miles from the recruiting center. A search warrant had been obtained for the apartment.
Thomas said Muhammad, previously known as Carlos Bledsoe, would be charged with first-degree murder, plus 15 counts of committing a terroristic act. Thomas said those counts result from the gunfire occurring near other people.
The accused shooter's father, Melvin Bledsoe of Memphis, Tenn., hung up on a reporter who called about his son's arrest Monday night.
Witnesses told police that a man inside a black vehicle pulled up outside the recruiting center and opened fire about 10:30 a.m. Long fell onto the sidewalk outside the center while Ezeagwula was able to crawl toward its door.
Police said Muhammad's vehicle was stopped on Interstate 630 a short time later and the suspect was taken into custody. Police Lt. Terry Hastings said the suspect surrendered without incident. Police found an assault rifle and other weapons in the vehicle.
Jim Richardson, the manager at a drug store around the corner from the Army-Navy center, said people at the store didn't realize anything was amiss until hearing sirens outside.
"Nobody heard any gunshots," Richardson said.
Steven Johnson, an 18-year-old recruit, was on his way to take a qualifying test when he found police cars at the center. By early afternoon, Johnson was waiting patiently outside the yellow police tape.
"I'm going to check and see if they're all right," he said.

Freedom

2009-05-24T04:04:00.001-07:00

Shortly after we were married, Mark gave me this T-shirt. I wear it with pride. Because those words are short, but powerful.
"I have my rights!"
"I have the right to....!"
"It's a free country!"
"If I want to talk trash about the sitting President or the former President, I can. Freedom of speech, baby!"
There are men and women who made the final formation and now laying a rest, in G-d good earth, who laid down their lives so that you can enjoy your hot dog and fireworks this weekend.
Freedom is' free. It was paid for the blood of Marines, Sailors, Air Men and Soldiers. It was sealed by the tears of spouses and family members who laid them to rest.
I still miss you, daddy.

2009-05-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

It is the SOLDIER, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the SOLDIER, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the SOLDIER, not the campus organizers, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the SOLDIER, who salutes the flag, who serves the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag.
And it is we, their wives, husbands, parnets, children, siblings who pray for their safe return and lay flowers on their coffins.

This is How It Begins

2009-05-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

The packing of the bags.....

No Big Suprise

2009-03-31T04:58:00.000-07:00

From Military Com.: Today in the Military
This is why it is, Washingtion, it is called War On Terrrism......
Pakistani Taliban Threatens Washington
March 31, 2009Associated Press

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DERA ISMAIL KHAN, Pakistan - The commander of the Pakistani Taliban claimed responsibility Tuesday for a deadly assault on a Pakistani police academy and said the group was planning a terrorist attack on the U.S. capital.
Baitullah Mehsud, who has a $5 million bounty on his head from the U.S., said Monday's attack outside the eastern city of Lahore was in retaliation for U.S. missile strikes against militants along the Afghan border.
"Soon we will launch an attack in Washington that will amaze everyone in the world," Mehsud told The Associated Press by phone. He provided no details.
Mehsud and other Pakistani Taliban militants are believed to be based in the country's lawless areas near the border with Afghanistan, where they have stepped up their attacks throughout Pakistan.
The Taliban leader also claimed responsibility for a suicide car bombing that killed four soldiers Monday in Bannu district and a suicide attack targeting a police station in Islamabad last week that killed one officer.
Such attacks pose a major test for the weak, year-old civilian administration of Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari that has been gripped with political turmoil in recent weeks.
The gunmen who attacked the police academy in Lahore on Monday killed seven police and two civilians, holding security forces at bay for about eight hours before being overpowered by Pakistani commandos. Some of the attackers wore police uniforms, and they took hostages and tossed grenades during the assault.
Earlier Tuesday, a spokesman from a little-known militant group linked to the Pakistani Taliban also claimed credit for the attack and a similar ambush-style attack against the Sri Lankan cricket team earlier this month in Lahore. It was not immediately possible to reconcile the two claims.
Omar Farooq, who said he is the spokesman for Fedayeen al-Islam, said the group would carry out more attacks unless Pakistani troops withdraw from tribal areas near the Afghan border and the U.S. stops its drone strikes. The group previously said it was behind the deadly September bombing of the Marriott hotel in Islamabad that killed 54 people.
Mehsud declined to comment on Fedayeen al-Islam's claim that it carried out the attack or to say whether the group is linked to his own.
"At this time, I will not give any detail," Mehsud said.
The Pakistani Taliban leader also said he was not deterred by the U.S. bounty on his head.
"I wish to die and embrace martyrdom," he said.
The Pakistani Taliban has links with al-Qaida and Afghan Taliban militants who have launched attacks against U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan from a base in the border region between the two countries.
Pakistan faces tremendous U.S. pressure to eradicate militants from its soil and has launched several military operations in the Afghan border region.
The U.S. has stepped up drone attacks against militants in the area, causing tension with Pakistani officials who protest they are a violation of the country's sovereignty and kill innocent civilians.
Monday's highly coordinated attack highlighted that militants in the country pose a threat far outside the border region. It prompted Interior Ministry chief Rehman Malik, Pakistan's top civilian security official, to say that militant groups were "destabilizing the country."
The gunmen killed six police during the assault, and one died late Monday from his injuries, said Lahore's commissioner, Major Azam Khan. He said Tuesday that the initial investigation revealed that two civilians were also shot and killed, but he did not reveal their identities.
More than 90 officers were wounded in the assault, according to officials.
After gunmen stormed the academy, masses of security forces surrounded the compound, exchanging fire in televised scenes reminiscent of the militant siege in the Indian city of Mumbai in November and the attack on Sri Lanka's cricket team.
Khan said three of the attackers blew themselves up when commandos retook the police academy to avoid arrest. Authorities arrested four others at the scene.
Wasim Ahmad Sial, a senior Lahore police official, said authorities have obtained fingerprints of the attackers who blew themselves up and have determined one of their identities. He did not provide further details.
Punjab police chief, Khawaja Khalid Farooq, told reporters Tuesday that a suspected militant who was captured at the scene of the attack had provided "genuine and actual leads that are beneficial for interrogation."
He said about 50 other people in Lahore were detained overnight for questioning.